April 28, 2015

i hate myself and don't know why

depression's here but i can't cry

old urges itching, i must stay away

shadows are inviting and reach out to play

each day seems longer with each setting sun

it's not a matter of "what has begun"

it's always been, it just now grows

there's no stopping it, just making it slow

the fight is agonizing and full of pain

i watch myself change with much disdain

crying blood instead of tears

showing lost hope and all my fears

pushing away those who care

it will save them from pain, its only fair

it's inevitable, i see it, i'm going to fall

when i do, like always, for help i wont call

don't worry about me, in time it will pass

but when this flairs, it cuts like glass

soon enough fine things will be

until the dam breaks and i float out to sea

the more i fall, the deeper i go

the less i want to fight the damaging flow

but if i don'y, i may be lost

so tempting, but such a cost

i know these things scare you, but can you not see?

this is why i don't tell you, and keep it all in me

i can handle myself, you have problems of your own

so admire this poem and just go home