pondering

sitting on the bed
alone with my own thoughts
thinking of the screaming
and all the times we fought

still wishing it didnt sour
or dim and fade away
but sense it did
i had no reason left to stay

being single is nice
and im loving it allot
but im missing that special feeling
of butterflies and knots

not the ones that fade with time
the ones that dont go away
because you know youve found the one
you forever want to stay

its crushing when youre treated
the way that i once was
all the warmth and feelings
turn to hollow kisses and hugs

im delighted to be rid of it
but emotional dammage is deep
time to start the healing now
and sweep my heart up in one heap

puting it back together
is a tough challenge these days
it wont be fixable too much longer
if i continue in these ways