don’t wake me up

I miss you
as much as the sky
misses the moon
and the stars
at 3pm.
The only difference is
I won’t see you tomorrow.

Reviews

[Relic]

I commend you on a nice picture for your avatar.

The poem itself is one of those I call "pow." It's short but hits you directly with its emotion and honesty. In my mind I see the image but then the last line hits.

Nice writing.

[DAH]

love this little ditty; sweet and direct, playful and serious.

Bravo!

[emipoemi]

.........this hit quite close to home. I've experienced a few too many times to count - thought oddly never have written much about it directly. This does remind me of a couple of pieces I've written (at the top of my head), as they share a similar message, but quite the same theme.

You are one of three (maybe four) people I've read who are masters of brevity, and I applaud you for that (it's def a feat). My only critique with this piece is that the musicality is a bit winded in the middle, as the way the message is strung, Lines 2 through 5 are essentially strung together, which would make the "3pm" not land in as powerful a way as if you were to imply a comma after "moon" and say something similar about the stars before "3pm" comes, which would then give it more power, due to the stronger cadence. In truth, you can still have the same flow of thought, it's just the cadence at "3pm" is not as strong as is, but it could be if you make a new clause out of the "stars" to set it marginally apart from the "moon".

Otherwise, you have tremendous talent, and I thoroughly enjoy reading your work.