Nightwalker

300 words

One of her hobbies was night walking and often during the week, late in the evening she would set off dressed for a hike. I wasn't that worried about her as she looked quite formidable, a figure of strength and capability in her knee length waterproof overcoat and hat with its own guttering for rainstorms. I watched her as the scurry of her feet took her up the hill, her scarf waving in the breeze. Behind her the moon stood full and bright, unblinking. She looked happy as though she had reached where she wanted to be, like in a warm embrace. At the top she paused, hovering her shoes an inch above the pavement, considering each area of ground below, savouring every step.

While I was spending the hours reading and watching TV, with the rain lashing on the window she would be out pacing the streets. Later I would be closing the house, turning off lights and pulling the curtains to. and would stare out at the night and she'd be in it, in its depths.

She wouldn't come back for many hours and usually return in the middle of the night at four o clock. She would come in quietly enough, but then would rattle around in the kitchen jangling cutlery and putting away crockery. I would be awake with the moonlight on my face, just listening. The kettle would boil, a teaspoon would clink and then her footsteps would bump up the stairs.

Sometimes I would call across the hall 'Did you have a good walk?'

'Yes,' she'd shout back,

'No problems then?'

'No of course not,' she'd say defensively.

'Good, goodnight then,'

'Good night dear. Sorry if I woke you.' By that time I was fast asleep, i just wanted to know she was safe.

Reviews

[BL]

Restricted by 300 words 🤣

[Steven]

BL,
the formable aspect of a raincoat and a scarf? i dont understand this. the summary would be walking, sadness and anger. does she make a sound when she walked? is she wearing those big rainboots? or is the perspective self inspired inflection? im not used to your writing BL. I ask with genuine interest. Also what is her routine of taking off her scarf and jacket. the person described seems blinded by something not described in the story. its a glimpse of habit and mood that are sparse in explanation. i dont know anything about either. it feels like a commercial hitting the high points.

[Betty Hermelee]

A poignant tale of those who worry about their offspring, especially at night alone in the rain. You show vivid imagery of her cloths, the time of night, her special boots,rain gear.... then the worry, and the releif when she returns, with your eyes almost closed to a restful sleep.
Nice!
Best, B

[Allen Smuckler]

This "short story" really caught my interest. I loved your way of describing your feelings and the imagery used throughout... If I might make a small change in paragraph 2 line 2... instead of "...pulling the curtains to (too). and would stare out at the night and she'd be in it, in its depths" I would suggest "...pulling the curtains. I would stare out at the night, and she would be in its depths." I believe it's more powerful sans all the "ands" and "too"... imho. Of course, Your story... your choice.

[Audie G. Couch]

I enjoyed reading your story. I could see the hill, the woman walking in the dead of night, and feel the love that is had for her.
Thanks for sharing. =-)

[T]

Interesting and leaves me with wanting to know more. As someone who also likes to walk alone in the depths of silence with my thoughts I wonder what she is thinking or processing alone in the night.

[Siddhartha Chatterjee]

My apologies, I've been out of touch for a while for personal reasons, hence the late response.

[Siddhartha Chatterjee]

This is so simple and mesmerising. Something about this piece takes you to a dreamland, and it stands out in it's crispness. Thank you for this.

[Shep]

short but it kept my interest wanting more as I read it nicely done