Apple Orchard

300 words

I was forever the cautious man, but when you came along I risked it all. I put all my possessions on the line on one haphazard and unlikely throw of the dice. In my haze of spellbound madness I lost everything and all I was left with was you yourself, it seemed like a fair exchange, but then you left and I had nothing at all.

I was left out in the cold with only a cardigan coat to wear and it snowed hard that winter as I slept in doorways. On the streets I dreamed of you and what I once had, I dreamed of a life that might have been. As I looked back I remember thinking it would be unimaginable to make any other decision and I would have done exactly the same thing all over again and lost it all again.

When all seemed lost, my run at everything over and the lights of heaven gently approached, at the last someone took me in. A reassuring figure was there to brush away the snow. Someone who was kind, they gave me warmth and food and set me on my way. In that house of kindness, my staging post, through dirty bath water I began to see visions of the future.

Time passed, the summer broke and I found a new place to be. Someone said they saw me in the orchard, on the rope swing without a care in the world, but I can't say it's true. Although I can't deny the taste of apples that were so sweet and pure. Someone said they saw me talking to Lily Mae, whispering in her ear, telling her a pile of lies, but I can't say I remember. I do remember her tender kiss though. I had recovered.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I can't help feeling I know you. It is easy to delude oneself though.

[BL]

I am taking that as a compliment

[R J Askew]

Well, the person i have in mind does have a fine intelligence and a natural creative bent.

[Cherrie Palmer]

The chances we take in life, don't always last forever. The best we can hope for is that encounter will stay with us forever and no matter what the heartache we will always find the orchard. Sweet fragrant and always in bloom.

[R J Askew]

Meanings within meanings, signals and signs.

[Shelley Warner]

Such a tender story of kindness, hope, and recovery. Well written. The apple orchard is a lovely metaphor for redemption.

[Audie G. Couch]

Your heart speaks loud in this poem. It is sad though. I can only imagine the loss you experienced.
Thanks for Sharing.

[augustus]

Very good! How appropriate with all we see about the homeless huddled in doorways!

[Anubis]

I really enjoyed this. The redemption arc is calming, and I am left with contentment.

You might consider revisiting your use of punctuation. There's several spots in here that would be fantastically improved with punctuation editing, and even a semi-colon or two.

Thank you for writing this. I like it a lot.

[Samuel Dickens]

Very strong and effective writing. How we may change after weathering a storm.

[BL]

Yes indeed, thanks for you comment

[fattycbreezy52]

Wowww... I have never been a fan of the short stories.I am lazy to read them. But this one just caught me unawares. I don't know how, I don't why but i liked it. Count me as a fan:)

[BL]

Thanks very much, appreciated

[barleygirl]

This short story reads like poetry. Your expressions are graceful & your story unfolds with a sense of wonder. Even tho the storyline is a bit sad, there's a note of strength thru-out, & in the end, we see the narrator feeling healed from this heartbreak. I like the straightforward way you show us how the narrator is feeling, realistic specific details bring the homeless scene to life. I like that this could be literal or figurative. We can feel homeless, as described here, even when our lives are intact with a roof over our heads, etc. I like that this message is multi-layered. Good job!

[BL]

I'm glad you like it, I dont write many short pieces like this and they are a bit different to do. I guess I got lucky with this one.