The Wedding Shirt

Because there may be no tomorrow
This will be our wedding night
And you will wear a wedding shirt
We have had no time for marriage
As the world around has betrayed us

Standing before me in a haze of light
You look perfect in a veil of cotton
It's as if I have been given an angel
So come to our bed of love
Before the war starts again tomorrow

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Get love while you can; eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we all may perish...that sort of thing, eh? I'd advise my daughter to hold out and if he returns from battle he'll have won her hand and heart by valor. If not, she can die with her virtue in tact and won't be stuck raising a child on her own. My oldest waited until she was thirty to get married. By that time she had traveled half the globe and enjoyed her youth. But she eventually married a good man and gave me three beautiful grandchildren. He actually called me and asked for her hand which I thought most honorable.

[~]

I wonder how many people had and will have to go through the pain of separation, the urgency of limited time and the devastating pangs of war. A good portrayal of romance not lost in any situation.

[Coyote Poetry]

A short poem with a complete story. I liked the poem. In the days of old war. Marriage was needed more. Need a reason to stay alive. Nice flow of thoughts led to the very good ending.
Coyote

[wordman]

a beautiful, and sad write my friend .it`s a shame we must live like this

[ANTO]

I got the feeling of two lovers - one has been given his orders and leaves with his unit for the front line the next day and in their minds they will wed and consummate their union in pure love.
Such a vignette was and is played out whenever there are wars and conflicts. The fact that one night could very realistically be their last night on this Earth together made such unions transform from something that could be considered 'dirty' into something that was love it its essence.
You do write superb poetry B.

[Chris]

Daydreams and pauses and the moments as we find them... this is a thought-full piece.

[Charlotte Frey]

I liked this piece, you've done well with description and the lack of perfect rhyme scheme works well (imperfect rhyme eg night, shirt/fitting, making).
However, I feel the first line is a bit flat and vague. Yes, we all could die at any moment, but why is this persona so sure? Maybe some concrete detail here would help make this first line more grabbing. As later on you go on to say about the war, but you don't specify which war, one of the world wars, the gold war etc etc etc.
Maybe if you lengthened the piece it would be easier to understand, I'd like to know what war and time period it's in by what words you chose.
I love 'a haze of light'
But the next line is an incomplete line 'You look perfect in its ill-fitting...' ill fitting what? That is not a sentence.
I like the connection to religion and angels but you could just imply this with the symbolism of angel as God would then not need mentioning, or vice versa.
Good piece. I enjoyed reading it.