The Wedding Shirt

Because there may be no tomorrow
This will be our wedding night
And you will wear a wedding shirt
We have had no time for marriage
As the world around has betrayed us

Standing before me in a haze of light
You look perfect in a veil of cotton
It's as if I have been given an angel
So come to our bed of love
Before the war starts again tomorrow

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Get love while you can; eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we all may perish...that sort of thing, eh? I'd advise my daughter to hold out and if he returns from battle he'll have won her hand and heart by valor. If not, she can die with her virtue in tact and won't be stuck raising a child on her own. My oldest waited until she was thirty to get married. By that time she had traveled half the globe and enjoyed her youth. But she eventually married a good man and gave me three beautiful grandchildren. He actually called me and asked for her hand which I thought most honorable.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I like your idea here but I don’t know if the metaphor of the world as bed partner works as you wanted. But that’s just me.

W.

[JE Falcon]

The idea behind this poem is a two-sided sword, the poem is short and a little sweet, and it is mankind's normal behavior in times of war. Take war out of the equation and it would be all good.

[Unspoken poet]

I really enjoyed this write, this is really good.

[Betty Hermelee]

This a bittersweet poem. There seems to be a rush to marriage, for war is forever present; now does that mean he war of fighting or the war of the virus, thinking that at any moment one of us could die of Covid. That being said, something external is pushing both if you into an nontraditional marriage situation, no wedding dress, no ceremony, just the love between you.
Nice write.
Best, Betty

[poetgurl]

Wow, this is powerful and so well written, love how it flowed down the page.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I absolutely loved this piece- it’s perfectly romantic and poetic with a sense of determination and sureness. It’s powerful, strong and written with a beautiful sense of love. There’s even a chaotic energy here, mixing the wedding well with maybe the concept of the end of the world. We could die at any time, but I loved seeing this from the perspective of the end of the world, all the while trying to fit in a simple wedding. It’s a cinematic piece, honestly, and each verse tells more and more of the story. Thank you for sharing!

[wuliheron]

You're using nonlinear temporal dynamics, and producing a humble Mandelbrot pattern. I use more contextual vagueness myself, but its obvious your poem might make for good song lyrics. About the only thing that confuses me, is why you don't describe the love and care that goes into making a wedding shirt. :)

[LJW]

Definite Medeival torch lit castle bedroom canopy carved bed vibe going on here.

I could hear his boots hit the floor when he took them off.

Outstanding.

[Kerra]

Wow, this is one powerful read here, nicely written and expressed

[BL]

Thank you Kerra glad you liked it