What is There to Live For?

Depression can be deadly

Sarah held the scissors close to her wrist. A gentle tear escaped the bungalow of her long lashes.
"What is there to live for," she asked herself. The cold steal tapped her bare skin as she contemplated the possible outcome of future existence. She started to rock back and forth as she knead a spot on her head. Humming a unfamiliar tune she choked on her own saliva. The humming became crooked, as if the record player was scratched and battered. Pain and depression poured out of the cracks in her lungs as she bled her sorrows into her wordless song. "What is there to live for," she repeated as she stroke the blade. The gentle tears became a horrid waterfall as she continued her crooked humming. The kneading became a soft beating. Her tear streaked face scrunched up into a painful illusion of self-deception. "What is there to live for," she choked out. She screamed out a bundle of woes as she beat the now bruised spot on her head.

Flashbacks of what happened last night played again in her head. The underwear ripping, the facial slap, the horrid thrust of an uninvited guest. Before that was the constant name calling, the threats, the alone feeling. She was alone. Nobody loved her. "What is there to live for?" She popped her thigh in frustration as she thought of her mother. The mother that doesn't believe her. The mother that thinks she's after her abusive boyfriend. The mother that doesn't care. The feel of pain becomes fresh in her heart as she thought about the empty hole of her life. No friends, no family. It seem so surreal.

Laying in her side Sarah thought over the life she never wanted to have. "What is there to live for," she whispered as the salty drops of woe ran across her nose. "Just do it, nobody will miss you," her voice taunted her. "You're nothing but a fat, ugly, depressed loser. Do the world a favor and end it." The salty woes picked up speed as she ran her finger across the blade. "Nobody loves me," she croaked out as she curled into a fetal position. She hated herself. She hated her life. She wanted to be freed of dejection. "Just do it!" Her soft whimpers became a battle of despondency. "It won't hurt a bit." Sarah started laughing. The thought of a painless suicide amused the twisted humor that was her. That what she was, and always will be. A joke. A laughing stock of her own family. "I don't deserve someone to love me," she thought bitterly. "I always screw everything up." She started her crooked humming again. " I can't do this anymore." She slowly sat up with the scissors in hand. "What is there to live for?"

"Meow."

Sarah turned to find her mothers cat strolling in her room. Her long tail swayed to the sound of her heartbeat. She hated that cat. It seems like her mother loved the retched cat more than she loved her own daughter. The cat glanced up at her and hissed. "I hate you," she whispered. The cat coughed up a hair ball and spat it on Sarah's floor. Without warning Sarah grabbed the scissors and pierced the cats lungs. "What is there to live for," Sarah mumbled as she slowly let go of the scissors.

Reviews

[Mifa]

You are a wonderful writer and I don't think there anymore I can say than that. Keep writing dear. You're sure to go places.

[Bluebird91]

That's what I'm planning on doing :) thank you sir!

[Mifa]

You're welcome.

[Mifa]

Lol...just caught glimpse of the "sir". Please, I'm just 25.

[Pink Pastel]

Yea it's really tiring and sad my sister has depression one time I also thought of ending my myself but something always stopped me from doing so I guess in future there is something waiting for me^-^

[Bluebird91]

Aww :( if you need someon to talk to I'm here :)

[Pink Pastel]

no it's okay it was a long time ago i'm good now happy to start college^-^

[Bluebird91]

That's really good ☺️

[Pink Pastel]

Yea and keep on writing

[Bluebird91]

I will. I got five more short stories to write before I turn it into a novel

[Pink Pastel]

Okay I will be waiting*-*

[Bluebird91]

Hopefully not too long😁

[P.D. North]

Wow, strong. love the way you write and how you accentuate the darkness she is feeling and how quickly it can turn into hatred. Keep it up.

[Bluebird91]

Thank you so much!