My own journey

The golden orb burns brightly,

As it decends into the horizon,

Im staring like a fool,

In the late evening sky,

Millions of the galaxys eyes twinkle back,

Liquid beauty runs down my rosy cheek,

The crisp breeze gently plays with my red flowing hair,

 

I stare,

Staring at the shadows,

The shadows of the sea mess with my mind,

Being lost on land,

Alone in this world,

Your heart destined at sea,

Drowning miles deep,

While mine is shattered on the coasts deadly rocks.

 

The salty air reminds me I'm alive,

Its ashame your warm touch can never do the same again,

Leaving to another world,

Crawling into the distance on Hell's ship.

 

I can't believe that you won't be a different man,

When you return,

I won't be the same girl,

I will be a fighter,

I'll be stronger with a new, fresh heart,

It won't belong to you when you return,

Your journey was your own,

From the start,

Mine took place at my home.

Author's Note

In History I came up with the idea of a man leaving his girlfriend to go to sea for some reason, I hope this is okay, just a little random poem, :)

Reviews

[Bertie]

This is wonderful; you've really worked to develop the character which I completely sympathise with, sympathise but in no way pity which I hope was what you were aiming for, a character who is too strong for pity.
The alluring qualities that you've given the sea also work to hint at the desire to be free...sail away on your own one day possibly...
Lovely :)

[Tasha]

It was amazing I loved the development of the character. Excellent job.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[Ravyne Hawke]

Excellent poem.. love the character, the raw emotions, the imagery and flow.

[SpokenWord]

Such a choice he had to make between the journey and love and it is shame they couldn't go hand in hand. How does one chose between their hearts desire and the one who makes their heart desire her? Maybe they were only for the season with little reason.

[M.Babu]

"Leaving to another world,
Crawling into the distance on Hell's ship" This reminded me alot of Pirates of the Caribbean 3...but i loved this line:)

What wonderfully crafted words that vividly describe the emotional turmoil that is the woman person's reality. I like the simplicity of the piece and how that compliments the flow of the free verse.

Wonderful work here my friend!

~M.Babu~

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

I really like this, the most powerful lines must be
'Your heart destined at sea,
Drowning miles deep,
While mine is shattered on the coasts deadly rocks.'
In my opinion that is..
great write x