falling backwards

i had been talking to this guy off a dating site and i wrote this poem when i became insecure . I started jumping to conclusions, this is, an expression of my insecurities , i guess

but do you get my point 
do you get my drift 
you tell me you will meet me 
we say we will definately meet soon 
and then you go silent 
and ignore 
i thought you were genuine 
i thought you were sincere 
making me believe you were genuine 
only to go silent and blank me 
telling me you will meet me 
only to ignore me
do you not think that is a bit inconsiderate and unfair 
oh , i guess you do not think 
and you are not considerate enough 
who cares that i got my hopes built up 
believing i could meet up with you 
to be silenced and ignored 
climbing up a ladder
you find a ring and you think maybe it 
could be the start of something higher 
something brighter 
something nice about to happen 
and then suddenly 
damn!
you fall off backwards
sinking back onto the floor again 
and oh, i have been knocked back down again 
oh , what a flipping surprise!
it always seems to happen 
when you think something bright might occur 
you sink into blackness once again 
and you have fallen to the floor 
as if someone has pushed you over 
solidly with their hand
making you feel small 
vulnerable 
little 
and defeated 
and like they care or even think 
to realise what they do 
or how they affect you 
i should give that guy a firm push right back 
and tell him what for 
but oh i already have !

Author's Note

what do you think ?

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my my my my....never on the internet ..that's what i think...one doesn't know the truth about anyone on the internet .. unless we already know who they are... and even then, wouldn't you agree, we slant things in our favor a lot ...;) i commiserate with your sadness and frustration ... i have 4 grown children and have encouraged them all to date the old fashioned way... meet people that have similar interests..like skiing clubs, or sailing or dancing or yes... maybe even Church ;) thats what i think... too many scammers and trolls out there ... not worth it says i!
E.

[charlotte]

hello , yes it is more difficult for me to meet people the normal way. some people are genuine tho , we cannot always distrust everyone lol :-) thanks for the review. my insecurities took over

[charlotte]

i think this guy is genuine but my insecure head was telling me he wasn't lol

[Einstein Noodle]

discernment is not easy...emotions, passions and wants can easily get in the way ... i prayed for weeks over an issue that presented itself one time ..(I confess Christ as my Savior) i kept asking for peace if it was ok ..it suddenly dawned on me think noodle that all the while i prayed for peace ..it was the Good Lord giving me the answer ..i was unsure of it... without getting into details ..i turned down a needed job which turned out to end ugly for the carpenters that took it... no one got paid and the project went to court ;) its so hard to discern things ..good luck to you... always a risk leaping off the love cliff :))) peace and joy to you charlotte ..be careful out there ;)

[Paul Bell]

Well done for the final push.
When you feel insecure. It stands to reason you'll feel vulnerable. But that doesn't mean you're weak.
You're just finding yourself. Strength is measured in deeds.

[charlotte]

hello .. thankyou for your review of this poem. My insecurities and reactions can sometimes feel out of control and my reactions are sometimes out of proportion to the situation , overthinking things ... yes, i definately did feel vulnerable aswell .

[Paul Bell]

I think we all go through this at some point.
Just time for change.