My own funeral

The alley is too dark but
I walk through it, anyways.
The bath scalds my skin but
I sit in it, anyways.
Both serve as reminders that I'm still
Alive when I've awoken from yet another dream where
I'm watching my own funeral from inside my casket or
When I can't explain why I feel most
Attractive with a hangover. It
Probably has something to do with how warm this rock is,
Down here at the bottom but
Rock bottom is a place I look up to from
Hell where the fire burns weed and the brimstone is
Made of Vicodin and I feel at home for the first time in
A long time.
Finally.
Cross country, cross body, cross stitched and pulled open and restitched and
Bleeding, laughing,
chain smoking, whiskey straight from the bottle, cheap beer and
As long as he's here and he loves me, I
Couldn't be happier.
The best part of my rock at the bottom of the dark alley flooded with
Scalding hot water is that my pen still works and
If I'm writing, I'm alive.
I'm always okay.
Even at my own funeral.

Reviews

[Chris]

The teeth within this one reminds me of my own "edges"...

[M.Babu]

"Rock bottom is a place I look up to from"
This was my favorite line. There's such an indifferent tone throughout this, yet alot of lines are hard hitting. Good write; keep writing!
~M.Babu~

[BlueZan]

Thank you!

[N15D]

Was a bit hard to follow with the punctuation alson at the start you say anyways twice?

[BlueZan]

Yeah, all intentional :) my life is hard to follow and repetitive haha

[Antoñyo]

I'm not sure even YOU know what you have here. It's a voiceover in a movie script.
Extremely strong piece. Thanks for sharing.

[BlueZan]

That's an extremely generous compliment....I really appreciate it. I was actually questioning whether or not I liked this piece but thank you for boosting my confidence! You are right that I did not know what I had here.

[Antoñyo]

It's merely what I "felt" when reading, you're very welcome. Everything doesn't have to sound like poetry. You appear to have talent beyond cafe walls, is all.

[A hare off]

Really nicely written. If I'm still writing, then I'm okay. Nice one.

[BlueZan]

Thank you very much!