The Wrong Words

My cigarette burns between my fingertips.
In my ears, the music plays too loud,
taking me away from here,
from this,
from your sick sense of entitlement and
the dangerous way I hate you.
The disastrous way you loved me.
For some reason you're stuck in my head like
a song but I can't remember the lyrics. The
empty spaces between my words were
never big enough for me to
crawl into but that doesn't stop me from
trying.
Like a contortionist, my body wraps
around the letters in your lies but
instead of protecting me, they
expose me. My
cigarette burns between my fingertips.
The music is too loud and
I don't remember the lyrics but
the wrong words are still said in your voice.

Reviews

[Marcus K]

Great read! Paints the scene well - your re-use of the ideas (even if not exactly the same words)
"cigarette burns between my fingertips.
The music is too loud"
helps the piece captivate the reader.
Very well done.

[BlueZan]

Thank you! And I intentionally didn't use the same words, I feel like it makes things a little less repetitive but still conveys the same idea. I appreciate your review!

[SuspectGray]

Great use of imagery. I especially like "Like a contortionist, my body wraps
around the letters in your lies"

[BlueZan]

Thank you! I appreciate your time spent reading!

[Ben]

These poems are moving, last review, but I'm going to read everything you write
Simply because, I read anything that I like three random pages, sentences, or poems of.
I am moved,I am swayed back forth, ripped from my comfort zone and assumptions and simplicity.

[BlueZan]

Oh good, I'm doing it right! ;) Thank you so much for your time and reviews.

[Saddam]

cigarette burns between my fingertips.
The music is too loud and
I don't remember the lyrics but
the wrong words are still said in your voice.

Superb writing. Wonderful,..,,

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Wonderful write... sometimes we know exactly how someone effects us and we are powerless to do anything about it.

[Raven Madd]

This is a compelling conveyance of emotion, it elicits feelings of betrayal, distrust, pain, and melancholy. The description is vivid and to the point; you seem to have a talent for saying a lot using fewer words because of your concise wording and beautiful phrasing.

[Blue]

"For some reason you're stuck in my head like
a song but I can't remember the lyrics. The
empty spaces between my words were
never big enough for me to
crawl into but that doesn't stop me from
trying.
Like a contortionist, my body wraps
around the letters in your lies but
instead of protecting me, they
expose me."

I really love this BlueZan!

[BlueZan]

Thank you so much!

[Sami Khalil]

"Like a contortionist, my body wraps
around the letters in your lies but
instead of protecting me, they
expose me."

Now that is some confession right there. A splendid poem...:)...........

[BlueZan]

Thank you very much =)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).......................