Undead Heart

Another heart breaking piece....

Lonely soul, shriveled heart
Hunger for refreshing love ripping me apart
No fresh scent, no sweet taste
To make my cringing hunger haste

I've had it crushed and chewed
Scarred and skewed
Beaten and Bruised
And unmercifully used

The keeper lashes and locks me
Demons laugh and mock me

Red rain spews from not the skies,
But down from my depressing eyes
Misery will multiply
It will help me die
No matter how much I try
My fierce fate will fortify

Reviews

[AYVID N]

Such is the fate unfortunately of those betrayed in love. I loved the raw feel of the hurt expressed here and the ceaseless agony the subject is being put through. Just great to read!

[Carrion.]

"Demons laugh and mock me "
I love that line.
I really like this poem. Depressing, but very interesting.
Keep writing^-^

[Rachael]

Very nice.. well sad of course, but written well. The rhyming at the end of the lines kept it flowing and your descriptive words definitely add to the overall poem. Nicely done.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I agree with the comment below me. It is pain ridden, beautiful and powerful. Which is what makes it a good read. I loved it.
100/100
Thanks for sharing. :)

[Ama May Cooper]

Such a pain ridden piece, beautiful , powerful . A tremendos and wonderful read x

[indieRokker]

Ouch, this piece is like a punch to the face, as if happiness were never on my side. This piece heartwrenching and disheartening. Well expressed emotions of heartbreak.
"Red rain spews from not the skies,
But down from my depressing eyes"
^^ Favourite lines, depression is a road with no light, a road of unending darkness, everything seems glum and gloomy. I loved how you pieced together this piece, it wans't to overdone *lengthwise. It was nicely done

indie♥

[MiidniightSoul]

Wow...what a powerful poem. Amazing!

[Ruth]

This is excellent
The last stanza summing this up nicely!
The ebb of happiness at its best!
xx

[A.Lee]

Wow. Very vivid emotion in this one. I hope if you were feeling this way you feel a little better having gotten it out.

"Red rain spews from not the skies,
But down from my depressing eyes"

Excellent imagery. Keep up the good work.

[melissa]

very nice . great emotion used