Forgotten Legend

Persona poem - Through The Eyes of A Fallen Hero

I am but a mere trophy of the Earth

I walk and breathe, though erased from the record of birth

Those I saved were consumed by oblivion

Those I inspired were the ones who killed them

The fist that decimated demons threatening the nation,

now busts against the laurel and hickory in frustration

The voice of the voiceless, now completely shot and cursed,

can't even convince the naive or make the murders disperse

 

There is no greater feeling of hurt,

than watching your legacy decay and become one among the dirt

Just as the many monuments of great heroes crumble,

so do their places in the hearts of many as they unconsciously stumble

Those who now spit on you and find comfort in evil's haven,

forget it was your imperishable might that saved them

They're now assisting architects of devious ploy

Rebuilding all the barriers you and others helped destroy

 

There is no greater sight of failure in one’s eye,

Than hopelessly watching the world you strived to save…

die.

Author's Note

Did you love it? Hate it? Why?

All constructive criticism is welcome. This is the first poem I've written in a long while and I'm just getting back in the swim of things.

Thank you. :)

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not that bad, and you obviously know how to write poetry, but this just comes off as so hopelessly edgy that it's a little difficult to take seriously. There's a place for this sort of existential depression or sadness that you're showing here, but I really don't think that you've done a good job presenting this concept.

[Chris Lotus]

I see. Thank you for your comments and critique.

[Ruth]

I like the power of this a lot...holds an aura of balance, beautiful work xox

[AYVID N]

its great!
All about the fall of man. It is indeed a tragedy when legacies decay and great monuments crumble. All due to our petty follies!

[Sami Khalil]

There is no greater feeling of hurt,

than watching your legacy decay and become one among the dirt

Just as the many monuments of great heroes crumble,

so do their places in the hearts of many as they unconsciously stumble.
My faves in this nice well written poem...:)