My Worth

It was a very warm day
with the coldest person I knew
I cried my eyes out
but he laughed with his friends

My mind told me I should give up
but my heart can't 'cause I love him,
like the stars were always there for the moon
and the sun giving earth what it has

We were happy, but he never cared
for my tears and for my dreams
I was always there for him
but he left me when he sees my tears

I flew with him until the end of the day
but he went down alone and left me hanging
I stayed in the mountains up
for me to not feel down while weeping

Now, I am all alone in my room
thinking about how it all happened
I guess I don't deserve someone
who's not afraid of losing me

I guess he needs to lose all of me
for him to know what's my worth
but I think he won't care if I'm gone

'cause he was happier without me in sight.

Author's Note

I really can't think of a good title, so I came up with 'My Worth'

Reviews

[Valentine]

We can never make someone care for us. It is in their heart or it isn't. Valentine

[Anjali]

Thank you Christian for sharing this poem. It was worth reading. And the title of your poem is absolutely matching with what you wanted to express at the end.

[J.M. Wise]

Love isn't chosen and that is what leads to dysfunction. Interesting read

[Hebe]

I like the back and forth of your feelings and then his.
It was a very warm day
with the coldest person I knew. Great entry, I got a chill, I can relate to that. I think 'My Worth' is perfect... as you did finally realize the truth, and that's what matters!

[wordman]

maybe you need a vacation away from him for a while
maybe he will figure out he misses you !

[JayG]

Several things make up a poem. Poetic language and images are one. Another is images and ideas that resonate with a reader.

But a prerequisite is words that grab the reader, emotionally, with the first stanza. After all, our goal is to entertain the reader by giving an emotional, not an informative experience.

Think about it. Does the reader want to know that someone they know nothing about "cried my eyes out?" Or are they hoping that the writing will bring a tear?

See the problem? This is a letter to the reader, detailing someone's unhappiness because a love affair didn't work out. But without having formed an empathetic connection to the speaker, will the reader care?

Part of the problem is that such poems are so common that they've been given the name, dismal damsel poems.

Try thinking, not in terms of how the character feels, and explaining that, but in making the reader feel it.

For example, if a poem spends time detailing all the ways this person is lovable, you won't have to say that "I love him in spite of his faults." The reader will understand why. And then, when you hit them with how the betrayal came, rather then the fact of it, they will weep with you.

Look at the words of an Elvis Presley song and you'll see how he involves the reader.

[Jes' Pi]

Sad and meaningful. Cold persons are cold because someone probably broke their heart once too, but in this poem, you made a worst person. I love it. Amazing.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. Some people are heartless. They are not keepers. Better to run for the hill than stay with a cold-hearten person. Thank you Christian for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote