A Table

I have everything nature can give

Everything that my eyes can see

All the rocks and mountains in my palm

And the whole sky in my ceiling

I sleep in soft grass with feather pillows

With friends who don't walk with two legs

I wake up then sleep the wake up again

True that life's fun, at least for me

I dreamed of things that all people have

A bed, a chair, a plate, and cool clothes

A spoon with a fork and a meat to slice

And things I want when I grow up

Someday I want a room for my own

My own table to design and lean on

And write new poems in my heart's content

This is my dream for I hope it'll happen.

Author's Note

This poem is very random, I live with my aunts and grandfather and I sleep in a folding bed in our living room, I don't have my own room and I want so badly, and I also want to have my own table. So this is what I came up with, i hope you'll like it. Thank You.

Reviews

[Beautiful Intentions]

Don't know why I found this piece so incredibly upsetting considering all the positive feelings within... This was fabulously done so please don't get me wrong. But when I look at this poem what I see is complete simplicity, just an ache for something as small as having your own room and a table to write upon... A table, Christian... When we live in a world so full of people who want all these fancy things, everything that shimmers and glitters like gold, never happy with the old when they can purchase the newest of toys that in a week they will bore with... And you'd be elated to have a table... You're sheer selflessness could make me cry for ages. It's so refreshing... So wonderful to see that there are still people left in this world who can be joyful even when having so little. You see only that which matters the most and truly ask for nothing... I utterly applaud you. Applaud this piece. Just amazing!

[Anjali]

Nice poem expressing gratitude to what you already have and looking forward to your own table and room.

As a friend and a good critic, I found few mistakes in your poem. I am not sure though may be these are just typos:

"I wake up then sleep the wake up again"

It must be:

"I wake up then sleep THEN wake up again"

And:

"And write new poems in my heart's content"

this should be:

"And write new poems to my heart's content"

I hope you find this helpful!
Regards,
Anjali

[Paul Bell]

Got a feeling when you get all these things. You'll look back and smile, at what you actually had.
Dreams have a habit of coming true. Yours will too.

[Hebe]

Wonderful way to express your gratitude for the things you have and the things you look forward to! Lovely poem!

[Shannon]

I love that you start with the positive. And end with the dream.

[D Connolly]

As the owner of a very nice table, I can tell you that it is overrated. I rarely eat at it, and usually it's purpose is to collect unopened mail and other junk that goes straight into the bin. To have the freedom of sky and friends and the Earth the way you described it sounds very nice... Ah, the grass is always greener, isn't it? I do admit that I rather enjoy my bed. And I'm thankful for that table.

[Emily]

Lovely poem!!
Keep it up!!

[barleygirl]

I completely understand your message. I became disabled, unemployed, & housebound a few years back. Since I can't go anywhere or do anything, I felt I had nothing to write about. Then I started seeing the big outdoors as a huge gift that I could write about in hundreds of different ways. So I love the way you combine the idea of being surrounded by free natural blessings, but still deep down wanting to have the things most other people have & take for granted. I like the way you express this with straightforward honesty. As they always say: write what you know! (((HUGS)))

[Terry O'Leary]

Having the esprit expressed in this poem, I'm sure you will attain your goals/wishes!!
Well done!
Terry

[JayG]

I have some flow suggestions:

1. I have everything nature can give
Clearly you don't. Nature can give flowing lave and earthquake. So since you really mean things in general, why not swap "everything for "all?"

2. I have everything nature can give
Do you really need "that?" Fewer words to say the same thing = more impact.

3. All the rocks an mountains in my palm
As against some of the rocks? Why include "all?" Without it, it's still inclusive. And it's "and, not "an." Edit, edit, edit.

4. And the whole sky in my ceiling
Since you talk about sleeping in nature, why not, simply, "The sky my ceiling."

5. With friends who don't walk with two legs
Why be negative with "don't?" Why say "who have"? Unless your friends have six legs, why not just mention the number they have. Or be inclusive, and say something like, "With friends who call the forest home."? or, "With friends born of the forest."?

6. True that life's fun, at least for me
Seems kind of generic. Instead of saying it, and then modifying it with "At least," state it from you at the start.

But that being said, the idea, "I have everything I need and I'm happy" doesn't track with the last half, where it's more, "I don't like what I have and wish for...

7. I dreamed of things that all people have
But they don't. I know TV makes it seem that all adults live pretty well, but they don't. And in some countries, they wish people weren't bombing them. So perhaps replace "all" with "other?"

Hang in there, and keep on writing,

[Christian Bonoan]

I understand you :) anyways thanks for the advice and thanks for the review. :D