Cold World

The world's gone cold and scary

Like the sun's not shining at all

And no moon to give us hope

Just black sky with black hearts

No stars shining to dream of

And blue sky that reflects the ocean

A world full of hatred and sins

Covering the love of all humanity

Oh I wish it's all in my head

But look! everyone's all lies

Forgiving people have vanished

And all is full of judging minds

The world's gone cold but still I hope

That someone like superman can heal this hole

Lies now cover love and everything nice

Oh I hope love will rise in our hearts.

Reviews

[AUU]

That last two lines are a lovely pair of pessimism and optimism.

I do feel like this one has a particular voice to it. I'm not much a poetry guy, so I don't know how to proper explain this, but most poems I've read lack a personal voice. Your use of "just" and "like" might be kind of amateurish to some, but I like that about this poem. It gives it that quirk. That voice.

[Hanah Gotski]

A poem inspiring love in everyone's heart!
The first two stanza are brilliant metaphors of nature, linking the natural elements required for survival of humans to love, hope and goodness required for survival of humanity.
The last two stanza are hitting hard with the reality of the current world yet optimistic of things getting better.
Really enjoyed the depth of this poem.

[Christian Bonoan]

Thank you for this review, it means a lot to me :)

[L Williams]

A wonderful poem showing concern for the world and hoping love rises in hearts to change the world for the better. I especially liked the second stanza's last two lines:
"A world full of hatred and sins
Covering the love of all humanity"
These lines are a great metaphor (hatred and sins covering love)

The line you may want to look at is this:
"Lies covered love and everything nice" (It is written as past tense and the rest of the poem written as present tense)
I believe the poem would flow better rewording this line. Perhaps something like the following:
Lies now cover love and everything nice

Thank you for sharing this poem. I enjoyed reading it.

[Christian Bonoan]

Thank you for this review! I appreciate your inputs :) Thanks for the advice :)

[L Williams]

You are very welcome. : )

[Christian Bonoan]

I have changed it thanks to you :)

[L Williams]

You may want to include your wonderful poem in a book. Hang on to it! : )