Butterflys fly fast.

Blinking to see striaght,

I see your face

right in front of mine.

 

You smile and your

gentle hand meets

my face.

 

Your face comes closer

and my pulse rises

my chest tightens,

 

Your smile loosens

our lips touch

and my stomach drops

 

The kisses are gentle

at first

then they start getting greedy

 

Your other hand comes

to meet the back of my head

tangling in my hair

 

I smile against your lips

then the smile gets replaced

with pain.

 

Something twisted in my stomach

Pain surged with in

I push away from you

 

and look down

theres blood

My eyes get blurry again

 

I look back at you

and double over from the pain.

I heard nothing but laughter.

 

I looked back up at you

to see you smiling a crooked smile

nothing ive ever seen you do

 

I ask why? Then cough up blood.

You bend down and pick up my head

placing it on his lap.

 

You start tracing my blood covered lips

with your finger

still smiling

 

You bent over and kissed me

harshly.

Getting back up you licked your lips

 

Pushing me off of you, you got up

and started walking away

You stopped to tell me one thing and one thing only.

 

"I loved you once."

and then disapeared into the shadows.

Author's Note

Give me constructive reviews:D please:D

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

While I think the scene comes through in the words. I think it would read smoother if it was a bit more consistent. In parts you refer to the male character as both "you" first person and "he" third person and it add for some confusion.
The second and third to the last stanzas both tell of him getting back up. That kinda is redundant?

The scene depicted seems to be of a woman being knifed and murdered by a male who kills out of anger. That's what I got from it at least.

Keep writing!
Aaron