A letter

A letter written to myself.

Dear Me

This letter should have reached you long ago and I am sorry for the delay. As always I was caught up in life’s many happenings. Today after many self-deliberations, I have finally managed to put words on paper.

I know you have been through a lot and shadows from your past still haunt you. I wish I had written to you earlier to ease away some of the pain. But as they say, it is never too late to make things right.

Do you remember the days when waking up in the morning seemed like a torture,  always the same question - how will I pass the day today? When the only thing you could wish for was to change the past? Those days are long gone, because you chose to leave them behind. There is so much more to life than your past. When you understand this you will understand why the things happened the way they did.

It is okay to make mistakes, to regret your decisions. There are no bad or good decisions, the circumstances make them so. It is okay to be weak and admit you need help. You cannot be always strong. The reason you are asking for help is because you have been strong for too long and now you need someone to hold you. Cry out aloud if it makes you feel light. Do not be ashamed of your tears.

Remember, you cannot please everyone nor can you be the reason for everyone’s happiness. You will make someone cry, not because you hurt them but because you mean so much to them. Your  hurts causes them pain.

Not everyone needs to understand you. Do not be afraid to be judged or categorized. It does not matter. They do not know you as you know yourself.

You will fall and wound yourself. Let the scars remind you not of the fall, but that you got up and fought to live another day. Be proud of your scars.

People will break your trust, lie to you. Its inevitable and you cannot change that. What you do is learn and keep your faith. The world may seem like a wicked place full of lie and deceit. But never loose your faith in love, trust, friendships and respect.

People will come and go from your life, some of them will hurt you. Get hurt but not for ever. They do not deserve it, not even to be the reason for your pain. Sometimes, pain is good. It will help you to keep on fighting for your happiness.

Do not give up. Life ending thoughts will come to you. You will deliberate reasons for why and why not. You will find hundreds of reasons to let in the temptation and to end it forever and a few reasons to not- your family, your friends, people who care for you. But the biggest reason to not  is you. You deserve to live for yourself and not for anyone else. Your  life is precious because it belongs to you.

Although this letter is a bit late, I hope you will find meaning in it. Find your happiness. It is waiting somewhere in the corner. You just need to make the turn.

Love, now and forever

Me