Last night

 

 

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with sleep. Everything we se hides another thing, and then we see what we want to see.”

“I am trying to sleep here Marc, not listen to your half-baked literary quotient.”

“Try harder Nisha.”

Nisha closed her sleep-laden eyes. The blackness inside her eyelids was comforting. Then she saw a little old man. With three eyes.  An old man with three eyes and a funny hat. And a look of one who is highly amused.

The old man shook his hat, stretched out his wrinkled hand and said -

“Come, let’s go!

 

 

                                                                                *   *    *   *

 

 

 

 A pair of eyes snaps open. Muffled cries. Clashing of arms and tongues.

“You have built walls around you.”

“My intentions never changed Sunita. And what I wanted still remains the same.”

“You are a selfish b*****d!!” yelled the woman, clenching her teeth, drops of spit flying out. Daud gave one look at her. She is beautiful but…

“It’s time… it’s time now, to say goodbye.”

A gold-nibbed fountain pen was plunged deep inside, severing blood vessels. Sunita fell to the floor. But she did not scream.

Daud dragged his body to the couch and let it fall. Then he let reality strike him.

He had killed her. Finally.

Next hit was a wave of grief. He was at loss for not only words. He had lost her.

He lifted his dead Sunita and placed her on the bed. To make it seem as if she was sleeping.  Yes that could be it. She was just sleeping. As he held her, and touched her lips, he heard himself say “She is dead.”

She is dead, but she is still here. You have not escaped her clutches yet Daud!

He looked at her motionless face. Is it the only evidence? The only evidence that says he loved her? That they were once in love?

“I may have erased a thousand yesterdays, but your presence is still here.”

You have to erase even her reflection! You have to erase everything that reminds you of her, and only then, will you be free.

“Yes. I will erase all of her. There will not be a single sign of her. I will chop off your body, cook it and eat it.  Yes.  That’s what I will do.”

Throwing her body heartlessly on the kitchen table, he allowed himself one last look at her.

As he held her by the hair to chop her head off, he remembered how fond he was, of Sunita’s rich brown glorious mane. He held her hair and rubbed his thumb against the soft strands.

“I cannot afford to lose control. You have to go.”

He held himself away, as if it was not him who was chopping off Sunita’s corpse. It was as if he was looking from above, watching at someone cutting off the limbs, into bigger pieces and then smaller, and smaller until you could not tell which part of the body it actually was.

After chopping off the entire body, Daud was exhausted. And he placed the meat in the fridge while he went out for a stroll and smoke.

“How does one really cook a human? I never even boiled potatoes, how do I cook human flesh?”

But nothing is really impossible to find on the internet. Surely you can find a recipe? Maybe not to cook a human, but something that comes close at least?

He looked around the computer. A tissue roll was lying beside the monitor.  What was a roll of tissue doing beside the monitor?

“Don’t look at me; I am just a roll of tissue.”

Daud sat down in front of the computer and typed the words ‘How to cook’ and he suddenly panicked. What if somebody traced this search back to him? Will he get caught? Sent to prison? Hanged for murder?

Come-on. Surely it’s just a mere curious question that a guy can ask the internet.  And he really didn’t expect any answer. As he typed in the search bar, he was confronted with suggestions :

how to cook a human

how to cook a hangi

how to cook a human baby

how to cook a husband

how to cook a huge lobster

how to cook a hubbard squash

how to cook a huge burger

how to cook a humming bird

how to cook a husband recipe

 

So … there were actually people who searched for these items. And he felt .. happy? Relieved?

Brushing aside the questions that his questions that his conscience was trying to ask, he focused on the answers the internet gave him.

 

“Uncyclopedia? That’s the site that tells you how to cook humans?”

 

‘If you ever got tired of eating a traditional turkey during Thanksgiving, or a chicken during lunch, maybe you should consider eating human meat. It has been a long standing tradition to indulge in the delicious remains of your enemy, but this culinary art is yet to receive recognition from all around the world. The fatc is that human flesh is tasty, healthy and nutritious, if not better, alternative to the hormone-injected meat you find in your locality.

 

This article is not to be confused with how to cook FOR a human.

 

 Picking the right human

Humans between the ages of 9-15 are preferable. Girls taste better than boys. Heavier humans are juicier while athletes are meaty. A certain amount of fat adds a flavour to the meat. Race and colour have nothing to do with the taste; all races are pink beneath the skin. It is a myth that brown skinned people have more omega-3 fatty acids.

 Preparation

Avoid using the liver. Humans abuse their livers with all kinds of toxins. Human brain and kidneys are tasteful. Calves serve as good drumsticks. It is healthier to eat a detoxified human who has had fast for 48 hours. Tranquilizers are not recommended as they taint the taste.  All blood should be considered unsafe and disposed of. It is not known whether swine flu, hepatitis or HIV-infected human flesh remains dangerous after cooking. To remove the visceral organs, make a cut from the solar plexus to the anus. Be careful not to cut into the intestines. Pull out the organ mass and cut them away from the back wall. Wash thoroughly. Cut and break the limbs.

 Cooking

Human flesh should not be consumed unless it has been cooked to an internal temperature of atleast 160° F. with that in mind you can substitute your human in any of your beef or pork recipes.

 

Daud settled on cooking spicy minced meat masala, a dish that Sunita was fond of. He also prepared some rice and buttered chappati.  

After serving the cooked meat, he did not give himself time to look at the dish. Jamming it down his throat, and gulping it with water and cold drink, he tried to not to think of anything. He kept talking to himself, made all sorts of noises, even yodeled and finally turned on the radio.

When he was done with the dish, he looked up at the ceiling.

He had never noticed that there were tiny stars carved on the ceiling. Little stars bejeweling his home. The ceiling shook and tumbled over and a night sky came into view. The night sky with so many different constellations like Virgo, Leo, Cancer…  which could somehow even after being light years away control your fate. Your fate that’s lined up neatly on your palm. Entwined with the soft, long, gentle fingers of Sunita.

Daud felt something in him heave and lurch up. He rushed to the basin and puked.  He puked long and hard. Puked everything out.

After puking he fell on the bed.

Sunita was gone. She had gone to her happy place. It was summer there.  There was a river flowing with such sparkling clean water that you could see the rocks underneath. And she was flitting from one rock to the other, barefoot, like a bee flitting from one flower to another. There was baby pink nail polish on her toe nails, and drops of water went flying when she flew from the river to the land, where her children were playing. Then she sat on the green grass and blew soap bubbles at the sky.  

 

 

                                *  *  * *

 

 

There was the old man still sitting in the darkness. All his three eyes were closed. A group of men came riding on horses.

“Can you show us the way? We are lost.”

The old man had the same amused look on his face. What was it that he found so funny?

“I can show you the path, but I cannot show you the way.”

 

 

                                *  *  * *

 

Maloy loved nothing more than to perch himself on the couch and stare at the T.V. What was not there to watch? Everything that was possible to find in the real world, you could have it all, on the T. V. He could go on watching the T. V. for weeks at a stretch, not just hours or days. Without food or bath. We all need something that fills our craving. T. V. fulfilled his craving.

Maloy scratched his unshaven chin and picked out an ant. What had made the ant think his chin had hidden treasures of food?

“Maloy. Get up from the couch.”

That voice. How he dreaded that nagging voice. The voice sent fear creeping down his spine. He stood up and slowly turned around.

“Anita… I… "

And then he couldn’t speak.

Anita had a gun in her hands. Pointed straight at him. With both her hands.

Her look told him her decision was final. She had come to hunt him down. And she will.

Maloy was a couch potato. But he was no idiot. He could identify the murderous intent of his wife clearly.

Without a single word, Maloy sprang and leaped into the T. V.

Falling through grey patchy static space filled with hissing white noise, he landed on his back on something pretty hard.

It was the ground. The place where he was staring at moments ago. Dry, parched, rusted hills; dust flying around and not a single soul in sight.

Oh well. I will walk around. Just as they show in the movies. He walked on, past the rusted hills, away from the grey landscape, in hope to see something different and hopefully human.

At night he reached a place illuminated by coloured flashy lights. Signs screamed everywhere.

“Fun! Come on have some good fun!!”

“This!! All you ever need in your entire life is this!”

“Dark Nader has invaded the darkness! Tune in your dark side!”

Maloy had half a mind to follow all the signs. He was confused which one to choose. He certainly wanted to have some fun. Dark Nader’s dark side was tempting too. Finally he settled for the one that promised to give him everything he wanted.  “This way I will have fun and darkness too!”

Feeling proud of himself, he walked along the signs. The signs got less and less flashy as he walked along. It was already hours since he was walking.  He was tires and needed a place to rest his aching back and feet. Suddenly his idea didn’t seem so bright.

In the light of the dawn, not very far away from him, he saw a yellow house. It looked warm and cool and inviting.

Is this all that I ever wanted?

Picking up pace he walked towards the house. He couldn’t wait to see what was inside. What was there? Money? Another T.V.  ? Some more signs ? Certainly he couldn’t get everything so soon, there has to be some more tricks, like those gameshows, he must clear some levels by performing some tasks.

Maloy turned the doorknob and entered inside. It  was a house alright. Somebody’s home. Or his? There were not any expensive furniture or trophies on the wall. A neat clean not too big house.  A nice square table with coffee cups and books.  A dim lit room with a clean bed. Sunlight streamed through the gap netween the half-closed window.

He went ahead and tried to touch the light. The light created a circular patch on his outstretched palm. Maloy sat and looked at the circle of light.

“I was waiting for you here Maloy.”

“I know.”

He calmly looked into the eyes of Anita. He was not afraid.

The bullet rushed out of the barrel and ruptured his coronary artery.

 

 

 

                                                                                         *  *  * *

 

 

In the dim light two entwined bodies glistened. As one rubbed against another, one whispered as if to the ghosts.

“There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt in your philosophy.”

“Hush now, the birds will wake up.” replied a female voice. “So what?” replied another.

The entwined branches rubbed gently while the wind sighed.

A highly amused grin lined with old stained teeth flashed in the darkness.

“And then there are the undead.” 

 

 

                                *  *  * *

 

 

 

Sambhar was a zombie. Yes, a zombie. The ones who devour live people. But unlike what is potrayed in most movies, he did not belong to any packs. No.  He was a lone wolf. He enjoyed laying traps for the living, everyday, in the same way. It was almost mechanical. Before dusk he would set leaves over the various traps that he had laid and after midnight he would find something or another dimwitted creature that had fallen for his traps.

Today, it seemed something big had fallen into a trap. Was it a bear? A chimp?

Sambhar removed the leaves and found a human. The human emitted a pitiful deafening shriek. Sambhar cracked it’s skull open with a blow, before it could start one of its pleadings, beggings and curses.

This human was a female.  Unadorned, but good enough. Sambhar loved his food. When he was eating, you could cut off his limbs and he wouldn’t feel it at all. He couldn’t feel anything anyways.

As he digged into the body, he felt the presence of someone sitting beside him.  Ignoring, he continued to chow on his prey. While he was slurping the noodly small intestine, he felt a tug. He looked up. It was another zombie. A female zombie to be precise. Sambhar had never seen the female of his species. And he, who never felt anything, couldn’t comprehend what was it that he was feeling.

The female zombie was starved and she did not stop eating. The fact that it was another zombie’s prey didn’t bother her. Also the fact that she wasn’t shooed away also didn’t bother her. So it was unlikely that the sight that she and another zombie was same eating the same piece of intestine also did not bother her.

It also did not bother her when she felt Sambhar’s lips upon hers. Or she gobbled her food so fast that Sambhar thought she wanted to kiss him. Whichever. It made Sambhar believe that it was actually Kavita that was missing from his life for so long. Even though his name may sound tasteful, he certainly was not, and he did not expect anything else from life that wasn’t already there.

Kavita was the most unique creature he had ever met. Her yellowed rotting skin, her scalloped scalp, her putrid stench, had a grip over him that even leprosy-infected human flesh failed to have. Together they hunted for prey, and gifted each other pieces of carcasses that looked like roses. Bleeding roses. They drained and collected blood from their victims and churned it to prepare blood red wine.

The fame of their exquisite wine spread far and wide. They often had visitors who came to bless and drink. And it is said that soon they had so much of red wine that they actually dug a fountain which would spurt the wine. You could see people of all ages and rotten stages gathering around the fountains, especially on moonless nights.

On such a night, a man made his way to a particularl creature he found interesting, sitting by the fountain. He felt her skin glowed like gold and eyes burned like fire.

“ I am Marc, what are you beautiful creature?”

“I am Cleopatra” she replied. Marc let his eyes drift to the sky and then to Cleopatra. She bent over and whispered in his ear.

Somewhere in the darkness, a pair of eyes got enchanted by a mysterious light. Enamoured, it followed the light. And the fish walked straight in to the huge crooked jaws of a blind lantern fish.

 

 

                                    *  *  * *

 

 

 

A scratching gold-nibbed pen came to a rest.

“Have you ever dreamt with your eyes open?”

Nisha gave an amused smile and replied

“I am.”

 

 

 

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Author's Note

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Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this story. You went into a territory few would try to venture into. I like the description of how to cook the human flesh. Human flesh is the same as a cow or pig. We just look at human life as more precious. A very good ending to the tale. Thank you for the interesting story. You held my attention till the last word. A excellent story.
Coyote