Sway

A knock on the door breaks my reverie, who can it be at this hour? Slowly I moved forward and open my door, only to be greeted by the pleasant breeze, running through my hair. I look around for the one who knocked on my door, looked around as far as my myopic eyes could see but could find no one. But the view of the fall was amazing. Leaves of all colors, fluttered and danced on the beckon of the wind. I looked up, expecting to see some birds, but found more dry leaves, flying, as if weaving a mysterious web. Within this haze, something caught my eye.

A lone flower. Swaying in the wind.

Drawn by some kid on the side walk with coloured chalk.

I smiled, and turned  back to my cosy room.

 

 

 

Reviews

[nunldon]

Nice wording here as you describe the scene outside. The content is great. I see some grammatical inconsistencies though. Slowly(comma) I moved forward and opened/ or Slowly, I move forward and open/ past and present tense. Also, beckoning or flutter and dance. The three, second from last, incomplete sentences, could be combined with commas but of course, you have poetic licence. Any English teacher would point this out. Consider connecting the three to the previous sentence with a semi-colon; (eye; a lone) just makes it read a little smoother (more understandable) I should be an editor, huh?

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was good. I agree with nunldon for this story. I also liked tho storyline though. It had a nice tone to it. Well thanks for sharing. I also agree with Alexa Aiden cause I think it was beautiful as well. Thanks for sharing.

[Alexa Aiden]

This poem is beautiful! It made feel light, in the greatest meaning of the term. I love the outcome: when you open the door, you find not a person, but the amazing view of fall. Lovely

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't open my door when no-one is outside. A interesting poem. Had to read again.
Coyote

[:PARAMOREchick]

u miss spelled cozy and it felt more like a poem with a strong meaning (she said as a tear rolled down her cheek) :D " "
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