I DARE SAY

So much zeal
Do not stop
Please, do preach
Sex trade, sex slaves
Illegal, I agree!
But Mr. Minister
You are sinister!
Was it not a naughty nurse
I saw at the back of your merc
Or does your wife play dress up?

Excellent standards
You have my applause
May even surpass Harvard’s
In a year or so…
But tell, principal Edwards
That girl rose
The one you sent home
I heard she’s due
In a month or so
Pity she got knocked up
Didn’t you rubber up,
Before you put her legs up?

Father, please forgive me
I have sinned
I let a man
Take advantage of me
When I heard you preach
Your words convicted me
But from what I hear
You’re no better than me
That alter boy…
Have you no shame!
Your boy toy
Is just a little over ten!

I don’t judge you
Because am a saint
In many ways
You and I are same
I just like my wine
Better than my water
But unlike you
I dare say
If you like your wine
Better than your water
I dare you to say

Reviews

[Steph's Script]

Really liked it. Like the structure, the 3 stanzas per scenario, and the flow along with rhyme scheme. i just wanted to point out though, in the second line of the last stanza you wrote, "Because am a saint," did you mean to add more words to it or not? the line just confused me.
Also, I was thinking that a poem like this might benefit if it were a bit longer, might want to try to come up with more scenarios, however if you find yourself forcing ideas, I would recommend leaving it as is.
And also, in the last stanza, the narrator states how they are alike to the person in which they are speaking of - I sort of wanted to know how with some more detail.

Hope you don't take my criticism too harsh, lol, it really is a great poem and I enjoyed it a lot, just giving some of the "what if's." It's always nice to have people say they like a poem, but I think it's better when advice is also given on maybe how to improve. Great job, keep it up.

[Jack "DO NOT USE" Young]

It's an actual poem, holy s**t! Keep up the good work, this was rather amazing in my eyes.

[M.Babu]

This was the whole package! Haha this poem was so comical and bit so hard but managed to maintain a soft touch about it. I'm told majority of people are screaming on this site and this piece hits base with a calm brash unique technique writers are forgetting to utilize. Definitely a thumbs up from me- knocked my socks off!!

[Coyote Poetry]

Great movement and story in the poem. I try my best to keep my opinion to myself. Most of us will learn the hard way. People who preach perfection. In the end their weakness were just a myth. Few perfect souls walking around. So many lines I like in the poem. I like poetry like this poem. Make you think about the subject matter. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Rossen]

The new evolution of poetry
This poem, borne of the text generation
Punchy feel, to the quick and snappy end!
That's how she rolls...

[Gull]

Good!
''Was it not a naughty nurse
I saw at the back of your merc
Or does your wife play dress up?''

''But tell, principal Edwards
That girl rose
The one you sent home
I heard she’s due
In a month or so
Pity she got knocked up
Didn’t you rubber up,
Before you put her legs up?''

It was well said. Sharp.

[Casper]

I agree with Angela. She said everything I was going to say. Really nicely done, though. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Angela]

Not often that a writing can make me laugh, smirk, get pissed of and in general just feel every emotion on the continuum. I love the line "In many ways we are same" It packed a bigger punch without the verb and I just love the meaning behind it. Good write!