The Willow Wind

I am attempting to get constructive criticism to further develop. I do not pretend to be Shakespeare, just want feedback on my hobby. Thank you for reading this

The Willow Wind

Bowed over

The cool breeze cradling my head

Your draped green cloak swaying above

Heather

Sweet smelling petals of pale purple

Streamers dangling from every surface

Fingers

Long wooden and laden with moss

Holding me gently in a mother's embrace

The wind here is clear

Fresh and sweet and cold

The aroma of life and moist earth

It flows through your arms

Feathery moss that is always greyed

Webs dancing to the cry of a marsh bird

It's so quiet

Just wind, song, and gentle rustling

The warden of this sparkling pond

Cradle me just a little longer

Let me rest before I face the world

Author's Note

How can I improve in your personal opinion. Thank you if you happen to review this.

Reviews

[Joseph Newcomb]

Fantastic. I love descriptive poems like this. I could picture the scene, and I felt the peace of laying in the willow tree. As for criticism, there is nothing I would change here. If I absolutely had to make a suggestion, it would be to use more punctuation to really drive home the emphasis of the lines, but that's just my personal style of writing. This is superb just as it is.

[Becca Diann]

I liked this very much. My daughter got married under a big willow that resided next to the old farmhouse in NC. I can see it, feel it as I read.
Thank you for sharing!