Unfortunate Souls Prologue (Re-edited)

      Unfortunate Souls
               Prologue

    “This is a game of hide and seek! Now we have to leave Japan for America! I hate him…you better hope we don’t find you Kai!”, Yelled Yura.
    Their the siblings stood. The air was crisp. Standing on the rocky shore staring out to the ocean. All they could see was the sunset and the moon rise.
    “This is ridiculous. Now I know how humans feel in their misfortunate hours.”, Said Jetsu the oldest calmly.
    “Yea, but how come he has to make us leave our home again…maybe we should just stay. After all we don’t really know if he is alive.”, said the twins, Kira and Kura, in unison.
    “Will we ever truly know onii-chan?”, asked the youngest Seri.
    “I don’t care what we do as long as we don’t die till we know he is.”, The second oldest Zura said while his hand was on his belly.
    “Zura…Eat.”, Said the emotionless Yura, the third oldest, as she tossed him and odd shaped cookie.
    After awhile they agreed to take the next flight to America. The oldest, Jetsu, lead the way. The rest followed in an order that went from oldest to youngest, Zura, Yura, Kira and Kura, and finally Seri, who is also known as Keri at night when he turns into a girl.
    Let’s follow them into the darkness that awaits them…

Author's Note

ok redid the prologue. long story why i had to. ignore my Their, There problems and any spelling

Reviews

[Austin Smith]

The last line really got me hooked onto this story. I hope you post up soon.

[GET CRUNK]

ok so the next chapter will take a litt;e longer but i hope to post it friday

[Aj]

much better...i obviously your planning to expand the character in the chapters that follow..but overall a good start...hmmm although, i would be angry if i met a girl at night and the next day she was a man...lol...i'm a huge fan of anime and this is something very similar..(if not the same) and i'll really like the characters when their fully developed..

[[untitled]]

Interesting to say the least. It brings a sense of ergency and slight desperation. Slight errors, but it's understandable, which is what you want to succeed in first. Keep writing, it has a chance to be very good and well written. Let me know whenever you add any chapters, I'll be more than happy to read and give you my honest opinion.

[visions of doom]

ok , you drew me in with the prologue , i have a funny feeling this is going to be seriously good , i had better add you to my friends list so i can keep up with you , i suspect you are going to be very prolific .