Hookers

The majority of his f***s were on prostitutes.

            Most men would say that they had sex with a woman. Jake, instead, would say that he had sex on the woman. It began as a joke among he and some friends, but over time, became his sincere attitude toward the brand of sex he practiced. He hadn’t contemplated much as to why this was; he just supposed that he didn’t much like admitting to himself that he fucked women whose actual job it was to f**k him back. Removing any and all traces of “sentimentality” from his recollections of the events was apparently enough to sooth himself. At least, that’s what he liked to think. He thought too much, incidentally.

            Jake had been cheating on his wife for quite some time. He was not a particularly desirable man, as he walked with a noticeable limp. The limp was the product of slipping on black ice many years before. He attracted very little female attention.  Oh sure, there was the occasional fat woman at the Park-n-Ride, but other than that, he had to rely on the women of the night.

There were many misconceptions that Jake held regarding prostitutes. The first being: “Any of them will have sex with me.” Nope. They don’t like the cut of your jib; they don’t pay you the time of day (Or night, as it were).

The second: they’ll do anything. Well, maybe not anything, but most things, at least. Not even that was true. Some wouldn’t do anal, some wouldn’t suck dick, and some wouldn’t even f**k. He never did figure that last one out.

Third: Etc.

Author's Note

Quit on it

Reviews

[Libby McKeown]

This is a pretty fly introduction. I was about to protest the first line, then I was amazed and thwarted by the second sentence. This really reeled me in. I am of the firm conviction that you should see this story through, and that it should probably be as ridiculous as you can make it. Great job!