The Grey Witch. Part Two

Erin Bloodquell with her ghostly mentor, Joshua, are sent from the Blood Mountain caves to find and destroy the Grey Witch

The Grey Witch

Part Two - Erin

A week later, Erin Bloodquell emerged from the mist shrouded moorlands. She wore a long, waxed coat, boots laced to the calf and a simple red dress to her knees, belted at the waist Her thin face, deathly white, jet black hair hacked short and mostly concealed by a skull cap. There was a solid, small lump high on her cheek covered by a red scar. She turned to look at the charred remains of Shamus Grant's home.

A shadowy figure walked to her side. A middle aged man, bald and worried.

“Erin, you were supposed to wait for me.”

She sighed,

“Joshua, I thought I told father I could manage by myself.”

Joshua's body flickered, became transparent then returned to solidity,

“D****t, have you ever tried arguing with him?”

“Infrequently, he's hardly ever there. But I always win.”

“No, you don't. You slam out of the room and refuse to speak to him or me for a week.”

Erin smirked,

“So, I win.”

Joshua shook his head,

“Whatever. At any rate, he wants me to travel with you.”

Erin nodded to the cottage,

“How much does father know about this?”

He shrugged,

“He knew the Grey Witch would arrive in a ball of flame. He wasn't expecting her for another year, though. He knows she is a threat to the people he has pledged to protect.”

She was silent for a moment then said,

“How much of a threat can one person be?”

“More than I would care to imagine.”

Erin's lips tightened,

“So the sod sends me and you after someone who could threaten the existence of everybody?”

“He felt it was time for you to leave.”

“And get killed, bloody marvellous. Why can't he deal with her?”

“Blood Mountain is your fathers home and his prison. He can't leave.”

Erin looked at him. Joshua had been her constant companion and mentor for most of her twenty years of life. The Blood Mountain caves were extensive and potentially lethal. Joshua taught her survival skills, how to read, write and some basic arithmetic. However, Erin preferred running through the mountain labyrinth and practicing fighting skills. Every day was a fresh battle of wits between Erin and her teacher. Her father was hardly ever around and when he did visit, they argued bitterly.

She touched Joshua's arm, her hand passed through him,

“Damn, sorry, I forgot.”

He smiled,

“No problem.”

Erin turned away,

“I suppose he means well. Possibly. Let's check out Stoneway.”

Joshua was deep in thought as they walked. Erin had known him all these years but still tended to forget his unusual status. He was a halfling, the inaccuracy of the name offended his compulsive sense of order. Sixty percent of him existed in this reality, the other forty percent in a dimension he rarely spoke of. The master had told him there were others of his kind, but were spread far and wide.

About twenty minutes later, Erin sniffed the air, grimaced,

“What the hell is that stench?”

Her companion pointed to Stoneway,

“It's coming from there.”

An acrid pall of smoke hung over Stoneway village. The odour of burning wood mingled with that of scorched flesh. Most of the village was razed to the ground. Erin stood in the middle of the high street. Dead bodies lay in the road and ruined buildings. The woman turned to Joshua, her face grey with shock,

“What, why? Why would somebody do this?”

Joshua started to speak, Erin stopped him with a raised hand,

“No, don't say anything....”

She dropped to her knees, threw up and started to cry.

Joshua watched her miserably. He should have prepared her for this and everything else that would happen on the journey. The Grey Witch arrived sooner than his master had expected. Erin was intelligent, tough and had considerable skill with her fists, feet and various weaponry. But despite her bravado, she was still inexperienced and unused to this aspect of humans. He needed more time with her to explain about the facts of life and death. But that wasn't to be.

When her crying slowed to a snuffle, she stood up, wiped her nose on her sleeve and said shakily,

“Josh, this is the handiwork of the witch?”

He nodded. Erin shook her head,

“Then, to hell with it. I can't take on somebody who can cause this kind of damage, by herself.”

She looked toward Blood Mountain. Looked at Joshua,

“Let's go home.”

Joshua said,

“That's okay, your father said you wouldn't be able to cope.”

Erin sighed,

“And whatever he thinks I can't do, I go out of my way to prove him wrong?”

Joshua nodded and she gave him a crooked grin,

“You are a sneaky bugger. But okay, let's see what's what, here.”

They split up and searched the village for signs of life. They only found death.

End of part 2

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Since a whole month flew by, I re-read chp 1 to re-familiarize myself & I found it much clearer & easier to follow. This chapter is also very well-written & conceived. You are one of the strongest writers of dialogue I've ever seen. You can write dialogue that feels right for a whole host of characters & you show so much character development & relationships thru talking.

Also, it's always a pleasure to read you becuz your editing is impeccable. I wouldn't commit to reading a book-length piece without this becuz good editing makes reading so much better. I can focus on the story instead of getting interrupted as I try to figure out what something is supposed to mean (I'm old & forgetful, so I can't risk losing my train of thought! *wink! wink!*)

[Vic]

I find Erin hard to relate to, her emotions and reactions seem a little inconsistent. For example, it is hard to believe that she keeps forgetting that her mentor, who practically raised her, can't be touched. Maybe add in some of her perceptions. What does she feel when she see's Shaemus' house? Why doesn't she react like she did in the village? She's pretty arrogant at the house but falls apart in the village. Take us behind her eyes to understand what she sees and how it affects her.

[PaulB]

Erin and Shamus. Ok fair point, but sometimes you can be close to a person and forget their differences, if only for a second.
Her reaction to Shamus' cottage, she has nothing to feel strongly about. A single building, there's no body there, a case of so what? Stoneway's a different matter. A village, razed to the ground, dead bodies around her, the smell of burned flesh. Erin is young, has never seen anything like this and it scares her. Nevertheless, I'll take your points to the drawing board and have a gander.

[Vic]

I mentioned in part 1 that I accidentally read this one first. It was a little hard to follow as you jump around between scenes but the overall story is original and interesting.