Follow Me (2009-poem)

He listens to you

He watches you through your dirt stained windows

He whispers to you in your sleep

You roll around scared of falling

As he infests your dreams

You walk alone through the broken streets

Through the darkened shadows

And in one of those shadows,

You see a figure.

Push it away.

He follows you for days to come

This innocent girl

Drawing hearts in the dirt

He sees you

He captures you

He says

Don’t worry, don’t scream, I’m not here to hurt you

You fight and yell

But there’s no hope

“Hidden man beneath this mask

Reveal y our true identity

I promise not to turn you in

I swear to you my soul

My innocence”

That poor innocent girl

Whose hearts remain outlined in the dirt.

Lost herself to man unmentioned

Her existence erased

And her life. Over.

 

 

Reviews

[Kianna]

Dear Be A Fighter,

I think this poem would be a lot better if you were to separate some things. . Put a period behind the word, "hope." Press the space bar. You can put the words in parenthesis in bold, italics, or whatever to make them stand out or even change the aligning. Place a period behind the word, "Innocence," where it says, "My innocence." Then put a space between there.

Otherwise, I think the poem is pretty neat and makes me think of a common victim, which is sad and terrifying. The diction is dark and cryptic like a bed time horror story.

I say nice job.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless

[Be A Fighter]

Thanks. I will take that into consideration when writing in the future but I do like to write with little flow. it's just my style with most of my poetry, not all, but most.

[Kianna]

I understand nun wrong with that

[zainul]

Hi Lauren,
It is a self explanatory write.
Love this work.