Suicidal.

That's it. Tonight I'm doing it. I'm done with this. I think to myself as I kneel on the floor of the hallway gathering my books. Someone had tripped me, now everyone is laughing. I don't care who did it. But it's over tonight. I pick up the rest of my books and stand, coming face to face with the only other person I'd ever cared about the one that had betrayed me. I look him in the eyes, those green green eyes I used to love so much. Now looked like nothing more than a dirty lake. He smiles at me, more of a snide and I shove past him. This is going to end tonight. I'm tired of it. Of all of it. "wait!" He calls after me, "Tessa! Wait!"

Yeah, like that's gonna happen. I rush down the hallways trying not to be late to my next class. Then I slow. Why should I care? I'm not gonna be here tomorrow. I walk threw the hallways looking around. I hate this place. I hate it because all my problems originate here. Mark the dirty lake eyed guy came from here, Rainey the girl that he cheated with came from here, bad grades come from here. Everything originates form here. I hate this place.

You know what why even waste my time here? Why not spend the rest of my life doing something worth while? I smile. I stop right in the middle of the hallway and drop my books. I run. Run for the door, for freedom. For my last day, for my last moments. I knock several people down but I couldn't care less. This was my freedom and I'd do whatever I happen to want to do at that moment. I pushed threw the school doors and out into the frigged air. I pull as much air into my lungs as possible, then breathe out, smiling as my breath turns into fog. I feel my heart thumping, knowing it doesn't have much longer.

I wrap my arms around myself and look to the sky. The doors open behind me and I look over my shoulder then quickly wish I hadn't. There stood Mark. "Go away." I say looking forward again.

"Tessa you have to listen to me. I didn't cheat! I don't even like Rainey!"

I shake my head and almost laugh. "Mark, I saw you."

"Tess I didn't. It was all Rainey! I didn't do anything." He pleaded. I want to believe him. But I know it's hopeless. All that'll happen is more hurt. No one really ever cares. That's why I'm going to end it tonight.

"Mark, man up. Quit your whining and just own it!" I sigh, my day of freedom isn't working out too well. I frown. I turn to look at Mark. There are tears in his eyes, now that's just pathetic. What a loser. I can't even believe I used to love this guy. I sigh and shake my head. "Mark. Just go away. I don't want you anymore."

He looks as if I just tore his heart right out of his chest. But what comes around goes around, he deserves it. "Okay." He says seemingly regaining himself. "Just don't do anything stupid."

I raise an eyebrow. Weird comment.

"I saw your cuts." He says stepping closer.

I pull the sleeves of my sweat shirt lower, how could he possibly know?

"You got a book off a high shelf and your sleeve went down. I know what you've been doing. I don't want it to get worse. I don't want you to..." He looked away seeming to be uncomfortable then looked back at me and said, "I don't want you to die."

I almost laughed. This is ridiculous. "Mark you don't know anything! You don't understand!" But I knew deep down inside he knew everything, there had been a time I'd exposed my soul to this man.

He looked at me. His eyes seemingly capturing mine. "Don't do it. Even if you don't want me around, I can't live without you."

He said this with such conviction I was tempted to believe him. But no, I'd already convinced myself that no one cared. I looked at him mirroring his same conviction, "I hate you." Even as I wanted these words too be true I knew they weren't.

3 Days Later.

Mark stood above the casket looking down at the young girl that lay within. He felt tears in his eyes. This was the girl he loved. There laying in the casket was his heart, now cold, pale, and dead. If only she knew just how much he loved her. He reached in the casket and took her hand. It was cold. He turned her arm palm up and pushed up her sleeve. There lay the cuts, 2 dozen or so smaller ones and 3 long ones that ran the length of her arm. He touched her skin gingerly. Why had she done this to herself?

Then he realized something. She'd done it because of him. At that moment he couldn't hold any emotion in, he cryed. He leaned over the casket and cried onto his one love. He cried on her beautiful dress, he cried on her cold hand. He wished to everything he could've stopped her. He wish he could hold her in him arms and let her cry. He wanted everything to back the way it had been before Rainey came along.

But no, history is history. There's no changing it. Mark swore this would never happen again. No one he loved would ever do this again.

20 Years Later

Mark stood next to the casket, he looked at the young girl inside. Tessa, his daughter lay inside. He couldn't help but be reminded of a funeral so many years ago. When another Tessa lay inside the casket. He took his daughter's hand and kissed her fingers. All he could wonder was why? He'd done everything she'd ever asked. He was home often, always coming up to her room just to talk. He'd sit on her bed as she'd tell him of the latest drama with her boyfriend. He'd listen patiently and then say something about him being a pig if appropriate. He took her out with her friends, he let her go out. He was sure she knew he cared. Why had she done this? Every time he asked himself this he saw her boyfriend in his mind.

Mark squeezed his daughter's hand and pushed up her sleeve. Then he cried. He cried for his baby. He cried for his wife that wasn't there. He cried for Tessa all those years ago. Then he cried for him self and what he was about to do.

3 Days Later

Mark lays in a casket. Slits on his wrists. No one is there to cry for him.

Author's Note

sad... idk why I wrote this. It just kinda came to me. Really sad. :(

Reviews

[EpicKizzy]

GREAT WRITE!
~kizzy♥

[Just Me]

That was super sad! I have tears in my eyes right now. I agree with whoever wrote the comment bellow mine. I think its a great idea.

[K8lyn]

WOW i want to cry. I literally have a knot in my throat right now. You should write an alternate version where Tessa realizes who really love her, and she changes her mind. Id like that better :)