Hate Me

This short story is inspired by the song Hate Me by Blue October. Listen to the song for the full effect.

I sat in my room the door barricaded. I heard a snore and i sighed. He'd gotten drunk, again. I learned over the past couple months when to hide, and when to fight. If only I could reach him. Poor Justin, he was torn up. He'd started drinking before his mother had died, but it got worse when she was gone. He'd called her one night, the night he'd hit me, he'd been drunk, but he'd still flipped out, I'd ran of course. I'd sat in the same spot I was sitting now, I heard him make the call, it was mostly gibberish. She'd tried to understand and to help him, but he'd ended the call with a slurred, "I gotta go, I'll call you later.". The next day she called him, but he didn't answer. That afternoon she'd gotten in a car wreak with an 18 wheeler, she died instantly.

I heard him yelling, his voice slurred. "I'm sorry Isabella!"

This was the process that repeated every Friday night. He'd come home with friends, get drunk, get angry, I'd hide, then still drunk he would apologize. He hadn't hit me since that night, but he threw things and sometimes I got in the way. Like tonight. He's thrown a lamp and it had hit me. It still hurt. I still refuse to leave him. I know he'll get over this and he needs all the help he can get. Slowly I got off my bed and un-barricaded the door. I opened it. "Justin," I said. He turned to look at me, I could tell he'd been crying. "This ends tonight. I am done with this. Tomorrow if I come home and you're drunk I'm calling the cops and you're going to rehab. Got it?"

He had a beer bottle in his hand. I walked over and took it from him. "Go to bed. Right now okay?" My tone was hard. I looked at him, he was in t-shirt and jeans. He was tall and broad shouldered. He could easily over power me. Which is why I mentioned the cops. He had dark brown hair and green jade eyes. He looked down at me and wrapped his arms around me. This was the Justin I loved, I knew I could help him. Starting tonight I was going to. I dropped the bottle and wrapped my arms around him. 'This has to stop okay?" My tone was softer now.

I felt him nod and say, "It will. I promise. I don't want to hurt you again. I love you Izzy."

This was the Justin I loved. I hoped this was true. I leaned back to look at his face and told him, "Go take a shower. It'll clear your head, then go to sleep alright?"

He nodded and walked in the direction of the bathroom. I sighed. I hoped desperately he would keep his promise.

The Next Day.

I took a deep breath as I stood before our front door. I had my cell phone in one hand ready to call the cops. I closed my eyes and took one last breath before I put the keys in the door, turned them, and opened the door. I looked around and sighed as I didn't smell any booze. He was sitting on the couch watching tv. He looked up at me and smiled. I looked around again as I closed the door, "No alcohol?"

He smiled wider, "No alcohol."

I set down my purse and sat next to him. "I'm very proud."

He put his arm around me and kissed my forehead. "Me too."

Three Months Later.

I smiled as I walked in the door. No alcohol, again. But frowned as two men I had hoped never to see, sitting on my couch. Justin's old drinking buddies. I tried to break for the door, but another man caught my arm. "hush hush." I heard his voice say.

I whimpered. And looked at the man who had hold of me, I hadn't seen him before. He was tall, and big, probably one of the biggest men I'd seen in my life. "What d... do you want?" I forced my voice to sound natural. It didn't work, the big man smiled.

One of the men, Kyle I thought his name was looked at me, he had a tattoo of a scull and cross bones on his cheek. "So, Isabella. Where's Justin? He hasn't been around to see us in a while. I was wondering about him."

"As you can see he's not here right now. He's not drinking anymore." I said hoping they would just leave. But I knew this wouldn't happen.

"What do you mean he's not drinking?"

I gulped as he stood, " I mean what I say. Justin's sober. He has a respectable job now." I said immediately regretting my word choice.

"You saying my job isn't respectable?"

"I did not say that." I said knowing I wouldn't get out of this unscathed. "Look I can have Justin call you as soon as he gets home, but um..." I stopped slightly as Kyle walked closer to me, "I need to make dinner."

He smiled. He had a gold tooth. I always hated that. But I realized now is not the time to voice this opinion. "That's okay lets leave him a message. Jerry?"

The man behind me handed Kyle a baseball bat. My heart seemed to beat right out of my chest. He noticed my nervousness and grinned, "This isn't for you, not yet anyway." He went into the kitchen and took the bat to all the cabinets. I watched as he moved threw my home destroying whatever they saw. Eventually he stopped and smiled at me "Be sure and tell Justin hello for me okay?"

With that they left. The large man shoved me to the floor and closed the door behind him. I closed my eyes and layed on the floor, my heart still seemingly wanting to beat out of my chest.

30 Minutes Later

I don't know how long I layed on the floor but I realized I had to clean up the mess. I stood slowly, set my purse by the door and went into the kitchen to start there. Just as I stepped onto the tile the door opened and in walked Justin, smiling and happy, until he looked and saw me. I must have looked distraught because he immediately looked concerned. "Izzy, what happened?"

I tried to smile but I failed and tears fell down my face. He crossed our small apartment quickly and wrapped his arms around me. "Hey, what happened?"

"Your drinking buddies visited you. But you weren't here so they took it out on the house."

I felt him tense, "Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine, they didn't touch me."

"I won't let this happen."

1 Month Later.

I smiled at our new apartment, now fully furnished. After the incident Justin insisted we move. I didn't' protest. It was a beautiful apartment. I loved it, and cheap too. I could easily support it on my own. I sighed, I knew he would get better.

1 Month Later.

I unlocked the door and walked into our apartment. The first thing I noticed was the bags by the door. I called out to Justin. I walked back to our bed room to find him sitting on our bed an ice pack to his head. "What happened?"

He looked up at me. "I'm leaving."

I felt my heart sink. "What!? We just got this new apartment. Did I do something?"

He shook his head and patted the bed beside him. "You just got this new apartment. I got this for you. They came back, and they will keep coming back. They won't stop. You won't be safe until I'm gone." His voice was strong and sad.

I looked at him tears filling my eyes. "Justin, we're safe. I'm safe with you."

He smiled sadly and shook his head, "Isabella, you helped me through the hardest time of my life, you loved me when you should have hated me. I need you to hate me now. Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you, all the things I should have done. Your life won't improve while I'm around. You have to move on."

Tears spilled, I whispered the only words that came to mind, "How could you do this to me?"

He took my face in his hands, "You need to let me go so you can see what's best for you."

I cried. "You're what's best for me."

He shook his head, "No, you are what's best for me. I am the worst possible thing for you." He kissed me lightly and I savored it. Then he let me go. "Goodbye, Izzy. I love you." With that he was gone.

Author's Note

yup... :D