I am

A poem about breaking free from the restraints loved ones place on us.

I pray thee let me be to live a life of solitude

Away from your prying eyes

Masked in shadows with a past of my own

I wish for you to know

But to know is to understand and to understand is

If given the chance an option you will not choose

Allow me the pleasure of piecing together

What is mine and what will always be mine

The frailty of a fallen leaf in autumn

Does not prevent itself from loosening from the branch

That which it may have first originated does not mean

A single tree shelters all fallen leaves

Author's Note

Please review and enjoy!

Reviews

[Trixolomanea]

Listen, I'm not good at explaining why I like something... which mostly leaves me with some empty, common "wow, well done!" review... but yeah, I really did like this poem. It's really beautiful and earnest. You did a really good job.

I particularly liked the part about understanding... 'cause understanding is indeed a path which people won't choose if they have the option. People can be quite egoistic and narrow minded when it comes to understanding other people, even between your own relatives.

Very well done and thank you for sharing this, I loved reading it :)

[.R.P.]

1 more thing. Line five, maybe consider an ellipsis (...) after is???

[.R.P.]

nice example of minimalism here. I would ad a line break in the first line. Read it aloud first and see if you like the breath of it, the tone and how it reads. "to live a life of solitude" to me reads like it should be an extra line below the first line. You're using eloquence in the speech so I would consider replacing 'a's with the royal 'the' i.e. "The Frailty of 'the' leaf in Autumn". I really enjoyed this read. Remember when using the minimalist form to pay extra attention to capitalization and punctuation. The reader should only see the words in capital if you want them to and emphasis on certain words or pauses in certain lines will only be there if you put them there. Idk does that make sense? I like your work. And your descriptions are like extra titles, they allude to your process, as they should.

[EileenMarie]

I know someone I would give this too...... Great poem, nice job.

Allow me the pleasure of piecing together
what is mine and what will always be mine

I love that!!

[zainul]

It is a wonderful prayer to live a life of one's own way.
Liked the whole poem.However,the following lines look special to me.
"Allow me the pleasure of piecing together

What is mine and what will always be mine"

[ewest1220]

I love the imagery of the leaves falling from a tree. The last line was also very well placed. "A single tree shelters all fallen leaves." Very very well done thank you for sharing this!