Parasitic Child

A Poem on Child Bearing and Children....

Parasitic Child

As I gaze into the eyes of my broken mirror

I see the innocent me from my vanishing past

Eyes wide and defenseless, provoking an attack

 

I have you in my hands; I brought you into this world with my own supplements, heart and mind

I am your fate, the decider of your life and death

 

Yet all you do is feed off of me, constantly eating and tossing me aside

Using me to your every most advantage

 

I give you my love and mind

Yet when you are ready to blossom and part

You leave me to myself, to think of all the times you’ve done me no good

 

I gaze into the eyes of my broken mirror

Unaware and pure not yet understanding the world as it hellishly is

I want to mess you up destroy your innocence’s

Make you see hell before you understand it so that I may see my glory of your demise

Parasitic Child

You will not use my wellbeing for your surpassing, and then leave me to rot outside the barriers of your heart

 

I gave up my body for you, carried you not only in my heart but in the deepest corners of my sanity

I gave you my cries of suffering and agonizing pain to bear you into the world

 

I feel the Sins taking over my locked mind

When I see you, child, so dumbfounded and pure

I want to erase you and tear you away from what I let you claimed

Life

When I carry you, child, I unconsciously squeeze onto you

To think of different ways to seek your demise

I want to make you see the black cloak

Parasitic Child

Author's Note

I've had this for a really long time now... I never really liked children or child bearing for that matter. I just put down all the reason why and made it into some form of a poem....

But all of the things in this poem are true, whenever I see an infant or a baby of any animal I instantly get a negative feeling, sometimes I just get randon thoughts and idea's for ways of harming the child.

I never do have the intensions or the thought of actually harming the infant but I do have thoughts on how it can get injuryed or killed....

...

I rarely every open up these secretive things but writing them out really does help... Thanks for Reading.

-Bliss

Reviews

[Akashi]

Nicely written, keep it up!

[Blissful Sin]

Thank you very much, I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

-Bliss

[Akashi]

You are most certainly welcomed.

[Nec]

...it appears, on a subconscious level, you have a degree of understanding of the very real terrors of becoming a parent...

[Blissful Sin]

I guess that's how it really is...

-Bliss

[QuietlyCrash]

You said that you usually don't write this honestly, but I think you should do it more often. This was amazing. Very dark, but I could just feel the hurt in every single word. Fantastic job.
-Riley

[asdarkeyesclose]

'I gave up my body for you, carried you not only in my heart but in the deepest corners of my sanity'

this is very powerful, we expect love but this is about the sacrifice and one that is ultimately heart-breaking and unrewarding. i can't see motherhood like this because it has been a blessing in my life, but I loved the raw poetry in this write, the honesty of your feelings and the exploration of thoughts that are not straightforward or easy to understand, but mostly I liked the strength of the poetry :)

[Blissful Sin]

Thank you for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed. I'm not a mother but I am an older sister, so far with all my knowledge of children and giving birth, I always get a nasty vibe from it all. I don't fancy babies that much either.... That thought can possibly change in the future but for now it lives strong in my thoughts.

-Bliss

[asdarkeyesclose]

children are not for everyone, you need to live your life for a while first, otherwise you will feel stifled by them :)

[Blissful Sin]

Thanks for the advice, I'm very grateful.

-Bliss

[TL Boehm]

Wow. I'm a mom with a grown son and a 17 year old and I deeply love them. But there was a time when I did not want kids at all ever. People change over time. Our attitudes change. Our hearts change. Not everyone becomes a parent or wants to be come a parent and that's ok too. I don't think its "instinctual" - its a choice. Love is a choice. Its not automatic.
I think you're brave to open up a vein and bleed out the darker blood of your thoughts like this. I think many writers have something in their core that isn't "pretty" and getting it out on paper is a positive exercise even if its shocking to the reader. That you don't act on it is the main thing.
My mom used to call me a parasite. ;)

[Blissful Sin]

You've made me smile today, thank you for your advice and I will take it gratefully! I actually have two young siblings and I would never think to hurt them. Thanks a lot of your say, I will think about it and try to live on with your advice.

-Very Grateful, Bliss

[Soul Fire]

Whoa, very interesting concept.

[Blissful Sin]

Thank you very much for reading. Glad you enjoyed.

-Bliss

[Soul Fire]

Youre welcome