Massacre On Cherry Lane

1 A.M. silence roams through the dark air 

The silence is broken by footsteps creeping up the stairs

A dark figure appears in the doorway, no one has yet awakened 

Their resting bodies have no knowledge that their souls will soon be taken 

The intruder quickly pierces the blade into his victims 

And leaves behind blood stained footprints 

Blood is dripping by the pound 

They are screaming yet he doesn't hear a sound 

He leaves the cold bodies abandoned on the bed

His last ounce of sanity has shed

His dirty deed is done 

The cold blooded killer has won 

 

His victims lay bloody, abandoned, and slain 

And that's what happened at 1 A.M. on Cherry Lane.

Reviews

[MassThinker]

I do like this piece it has a nice flow and it’s nicely written. You also tied the ending up very nice. Just one thing bothered me. The word inject when referring to a knife/blade sounded kind of awkward to me.

Maybe it’s just me but good job overall!

[Megan]

Thank you! And i kinda thought that "inject" line did sound a bit awkward but i also just didnt want to say "stab".

[MassThinker]

You could use the word pierce, pierces, piercing. I can also come to think of penetrate, impale. read moreYou could use the word pierce, pierces, piercing. I can also come to think of penetrate, impale.
"The intruder quickly pierces the blade into his victims."

Just a thought, good luck! :)

[FlatLineBeauty]

I liked this a lot. It's descriptive and chilling. I had to turn around when I read this

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Hmmm, I like how you ended the poem the same way that you started it. :) Anyway, i think you spelled "bodys" wrongly. Please check the fourth line. :)

[Megan]

Whoops thanks lol

[Rosaria_V]

woow this was deep, so well written!!!

[Rayner Ramsay]

wow. this is really dark and really detailed. I love this one

[Megan]

Thank you :)