Innocent Little Girl

There was a little girl i saw almost every day

She had curly, noodle like blonde hair

And icy blue eyes

She didn't look a day over 4 years old

I saw her every morning at the bus stop watching her sister board the bus

She always clentched onto her mother, not ready for the big world she'll eventually grow into

I never knew her name

I only saw her through a little bus window

I always remembered her

And looked for her every morning

I don't know why she stuck out amoung the other children

Maybe it was her innocent cowardness

The uncertainness in her eyes reminded me of someone

She reminded me of myself.

Author's Note

Alrighty, i feel like my writings lately have been sounding more like stories instead of poems, kinda like this one. Im trying to make my pieces more poetic sounding if anyone has tips please feel free to share thanks :)

Reviews

[Imane]

very nice poem :') and it brings back many memories !! keep up the good work sis

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Hmm indeed they sounded more like stories but I love the simplicity and the reliance on meaning.. How to make pieces more poetic sounding? Read more poems, various poems, and observe the flow of thought, the rhythm... The more you expose yourself to the sound or music (as I would choose to call it) of poetry, the more natural it will also be for you to write your thoughts down the poetic way. Also, change the sentence patterns. Don't be afraid to play with words. Most importantly, don't overdo it. :) I'm not a pro on writing and criticizing poems but I hope my suggestions help. :)

[Rosaria_V]

I love how descriptive you were about the girl, you could almost visualize her :) So sweet!! I loved it :)

[Tania]

such a nice and sweat poem! wonderful

[Rayner Ramsay]

this is a very sweet poem. It is nice to see that people don't just write about random dribble