Mocking Bird

Um, this weird poem I wrote at midnight about a week ago. Tell me what you think?

Mocking Bird
Black bird, white bird,
Fly between the dark and light, bird
Will you come to stay tonight, bird?

Sing bird, soar bird,
one word more, bird,
Teach your song to me, dear, poor bird.

Feathers black and feathers white,
and song without my word in spite,
my dream, with these, complete you might,
so dream on, dreaming black and white.

Lost bird, poor bird,
Rest your broken wings to soar, bird,
let me help and teach me more bird.

Sing bird, soar bird,
one word more bird,
Teach your song to me, dear, poor bird.

Feathers black, and feathers white,
 and songs without my word in spite,
my dream, with these, complete you might,
so dream on, dreaming black and white.

Right bird, wrong bird,
come to heal me with a song, bird,
I'm not worthy, move along, bird.

Sing bird, soar bird,
one word more bird,
teach your song to me, dear, poor, bird.

Feathers black, and feathers white,
and songs without my word in spite,
my dream, with these, complete you might,
so dream on, dreaming black and white.

Life I gave, and life I got,
my wings are black, but white in spots,
imperfect still, yet perfect heart
perfect here, in my own part.

Sing bird, soar bird,
 one word more, bird,
thank you for your song, dear, poor bird.

Feathers black, and feathers white,
and songs without my word in spite,
this dream is now complete and right,
and still, I dream of black and white.

Author's Note

Sorry if it's a bit messy. I had to hurry and type it.

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

I really enjoyed reading this, I have to say. So much imagery, and such a unique style. You had a lovely almost sing-song rhythm, adn the internal rhyming and ending every line with "bird" added to this. I love the use of black and white, which emphasized the difference between the bird and the speaker. It was almost like an Ars Poetica, or as though you were writing about the difference between a person's physical state of being and her imagination and ability to write. Also, for some reason, this made me think of a song. It could have been a Beatles song, or something from sixties or seventies music (which are some of my favorite generations for music). Colorblindmartian RR me with this, adn I'm really glad he did, because this was strange and a little magical. I really enjoyed reading it.

[Lindsey]

I really like this a lot. It rhymes and flows so well it helps make it seem more magical.

[Cricket Kidd]

This poem would make good song lyrics. Me likey!

[Christine]

killer rhyme scheme and repetition

[Midnight_Mystery]

this is an interesting poem,nice job!

[ColorblindMartian.]

This flows very nicely, or at least the way i read it. A lovely poem.