A tribute to those who lost their lives in the Norway youth camp attack.

This story is based on real events.

  It was a normal day,or so i thought, the day started off like any other day. Many kids ranging from 11to 19 had no idea on what was about to happen. It all started with this guy walking in to camp pretending to be a officer. Many of us thought nothing about it so we just kept with our day activities. That was until the sounds of gun shots filled the air and screams that followed behind it. I was so terrified and had no idea what was going on. All around me i saw my friends fall down dead. Many were trying to escape by jumping in to the water. Some of the people made it to the water but others were not so fortunate. As i tried to get to the water my self my best friend who was next to me got shot in the back. I watched as her eyes opened wide with fear and she fell to the ground. I looked around to see if i could see the gunman but he was gone. I leaned over my friend tears in my eyes.

I told her it will be ok, but i knew it was a lie, i held her in my arms as blood speared out the wound in her back. I knew she was not going to make it. I stayed their till she took her last breath. Once i knew she was gone i was sobbing so hard that i could hardly see. Running my fingers through her brown curly hair i whispered in her ear "We will always be friends" Then turning around seeing the kayos that is building up i kissed my friend on the cheek good by and took off running.I knew that my friend would want me to live so i could live a happy life. Now running among the others like a herd of zebra being hunted down, i had no idea which way to go. My eyes scanned the area unsure on what to do. This was hell no worse than hell. 

With ever step i took i could not help my self trip or step on a dead body. They were everywhere. Every place you looked every inch on the ground seemed to be covered by bodies. Making my way to the woods thinking if i could get their i could hide in a tree till it was over. I knew many people who died their on the bloody battle field. That forsaken field that satin is the only one who could ever think of it. I managed to make it out with my life but many of my friends did not. Sometimes i wish that i was the one taken and not my friend who died in my arms.

(Thank you for reading this story. It is based on a true event that happened. over 84 people died in that shooting. If you want to read the article on this just go to http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43854355/ns/world_news-europe/ and share the word on this bloody attack.)

Reviews

[Elemenopy]

Tributes are always good, and your accounting of the events gives the reader a solid look at what took place that day. As far as a story goes, I cannot really critique the idea of a retelling of an event, so I will simply critique the grammar and some of the obvious problems I saw and you can take what you will.

I know you probably were not too intent on the grammar or sentence structure, but the revision of such will only improve your piece. First off, I would run through and capitalize all the i's :D Easy enough. There are some run-on sentences here and there, but that is not so terrible. The best way to fix that is find the really long sentences, and figure out where to put a period.

There are fragments laced in with the piece, such as: "Making my way to the woods thinking if i could get their i could hide in a tree till it was over." I was at the beginning would fix that. There are a few others as well, but I am sure you can sort those out.

The only other thing I would say is that you could possibly slow the piece down and add some description. Tell us what you were feeling when everything happened. Let us know your fears, your thoughts, your nightmares. Bring to light not only that which transpired in front of your eyes, but what was happening inside your head. This story is for everyone that was killed or wounded that day, make us feel that hurt.

Thank you for posting, it is important to remember those times that will live forever in infamy and all those souls that were lost due to the acts of a maniac.

[Daytonight]

Such a horrific crime! Reminds me of an incident that happened at a university in Virginia I believe it was. Thank you for writing a tribute to these young people.

[AndyJCash]

I wrote a poem on this horrific event and I'm glad someone else has taken heed of what has happened. A good piece indeed, I just wish this topic wasn't around to write about :/

[Marie Harrison]

Killing in the name of religion. Glad you made us more aware of this story. Great job!

[Coyote Poetry]

This is a sad story. Why do people kill the innocent? Your telling of this story is necessary. I heard little of this story. I cannot understand why anyone would kill the young people? Thank you for passing the information.
Coyote

[...]

Sad events and horrific images. Nicely written to give readers a revealing look at what happened.

[Niki Wilson]

I know, it was H-O-R-I-B-B-L-E! Great write, very inspiring!

[Sakib]

This is so horrible. I don't know when we will be able to remove this curse. Thanks for sharing this story.

[whispereversolightly]

This is such a horrible incident to go through. It makes me so sad to see people to do such things.

[TheElfPrincess]

I know how this feels, for there had been a similar thing in the mall near my school. There were seven people killed, including the murderer. Anyways, a beautiful piece of writing yet very sad and true. Why people do this things, we will never know.