It Hurts So Much

It hurts… so much...

feeling my heart beating
so frantically that it
            scares me so much until
it feels like I am suffocating
            and drowning in a pit of madness
that surrounds me like tar.

 

It hurts… so much...

            Knowing that everything
I do to try and slow my heart
            down will only make my problem
worse and make me feel like this
            madness will seep into my skin,
into my bones, into my soul.

 

It hurts… so much...

            Seeing everyone walking
by and not asking if I am
            alright, especially since my
gasping for air can be heard
            over their screams of dramatic
and false excitement.

 

It hurts… so much...

            Doing absolutely nothing.

But it is the only thing that
            I can get myself to do until
someone can notice my
            suffering so they can ask me if
I am alright, and not just “fine.”

Author's Note

Another song inspired this poem.