Whispers

It felt horrible, yet satisfying, when I heard someone whisper to me. Their voices soft, yet their tone suggested hatred, pain, and suffering.

I don’t want to suffer anymore. It hurts so much. But they say that in order to live, one must always suffer. It’s the only way.

But suffering means to live without the expectation to see yourself as happy.

I want to be happy, that is all I’ve ever asked.

“You’ll never be happy,” one whispers harshly.

“That’s selfish, being happy,” whispered another.

“People hate those who are selfish,” another states.

“But they already hate me.” I mutter sadly.

“Because you’re selfish,” they all whisper.

Maybe they’re right. I’m not only selfish for happiness, but I’m selfish for affection, attention, friends, interaction with others, to be needed…

“We are your friends, because we’re the only ones who actually care about you.”

“Liars…”

“We tell you the horrible truth about other people most don’t notice,” one snickers.

“They are the ones that lie, telling you that they care.”

“We can see it in their eyes.”

“The way they look at you with such fake happiness.”

“It’s shocking you can’t tell the difference.”

“Didn’t we teach you anything?”

I really hate it when they rant, trying to prove they’re right all the time. It makes my head hurt because their voices always go from a soft whisper to screaming at the top of their lungs by the time they’re done.

I can’t help but cry. Cry at the pain they’re causing, the hurt I feel, the worthlessness sinking deep inside me and I just want to run away.

Run away as far as I can and never come back.

But that’s impossible, they’re always with me and there’s no way to get rid of them.

In order for me to live, I can either continue to suffer, or I can be selfish.

I should just be selfish, it’s easier than this. It has to be. Suffering is exhausting, taxing, and completely draining.

Selfishness just has to be better, at least for my sake.

Author's Note

I reposted this as a chapter like I thought I did earlier. Sorry to everyone I've confused!