From the Inside Out

This pain is worse than death.

Worse than winter's icy breath.

That sends a shiver down my spine.

Every time I remember you will never again be mine.

This heart of black can still bleed red,

Even when the hateful demons have been fed. 

Their dailey dose of purpose to inflate

With excessive hate

That eats away the humanity that is your reject

The words you said to me, I will never forget

And how they were all lies

Circling like flies

Waiting for the moment to eat my dead skin.

The demons grin,

For they are helping your quest

To build me up to my best

And then slaughter my only hope,

Leaving no rope

To escape the endless black pit

So that I may be helped by the gritt

To decompose, slowly and painfully

While still being attacked by my bully

So, without a doubt,

I would like to congradulate you on killing me from the inside out.

 

June 14, 2011

 

Reviews

[Caleb Pendleton]

Love the imagery, hate the rhyme (which needs some work at the end). Putting aside that, it's a very good piece. I see all that's happening and the piece flows well from line to line. Try not using rhyming next time? It just makes the poem feel much more mature.

[Douglas Keppol]

Very impressive use of imagery and I really enjoyed the excellent climax at the end.