Lonely

Feeling alone sucks,
Actually being alone makes me want
To cry till there are no tears to come out anymore.
I don't understand how feeling empty can feel so heavy.
The drugs, the liquid there not gonna help you
There just let you forget for a amount of time that your lonely but after a while the feeling is back
The feeling you touch something it breaks
The feeling of being useless
You feel so empty but at the same time you can't breath,
It's like being under the water and not being able to come up and breath.
I'm drowning.
My eyes are red and hurt.
I can't feel my legs and arms.
The only thing I can hear are my lungs that are nearly exploding.
Guess what I can't hear anymore
Your heartbeat
Your voice
The words you whisper on the phone when you feel the worst
Your calm breathing when you fell as sleep
The noise from your lighter every time you lighten up a cigarette
Your hysterical laugh after every time you took those blue pills when you didn't felt safe anymore.
Your crying every time you missed home
I'm not okay, But I'm still drowning.
And I don't know if I'm ever gonna see the sky again.