A Breeze at the Edge of the Forest

A Story by Blank_canvas

Seven pairs of feet walk along the forest edge, along an invisible line none of them dared to cross, an unspoken rule since that day.

The sun shines down on the green leaves of the trees at the edge of the forest, enveloping the air in a white light that makes the world look like a dream, blinding your eyes and bringing a sort of haze to the edge of your vision.

Seven pairs of feet walked along the edge of the woods, an invisible wall keeping them from entering. A silent line none of them were willing to cross, so they kept to wandering along the edge, a mere few feet keeping them apart from the bushes and branches. They kept walking with no clear goal other than to let time slip past them.

The world was quiet except for the quiet melody that seemed to echo from the forest, a soft whistle of the wind slipping through the leaves and branches. It was all quiet until they heard a cry. A cry and then a barely audible sniffle, drowned out by the melody of the forest. They all stopped walking.

Looking around, the boy with jet black hair spotted the bush the noise came from. The group of seven made their way over to the bush that was pointed out, the boy with tired eyes tripping over his feet when he tried and leaving the boy in the red hoodie to catch him when he fell.

Stepping closer to the bush, they crossed the line that divided them from the forest and they could hear more blank sniffles. The light bouncing around the forest got brighter.

The girl with lopsided hair glanced around like she was waiting for something but didn't move, and for another moment none of them moved either. Then the boy with braids in his hair stepped forward, grabbing onto one of the branches of the bush and pulling it back.

A boy sat in the small clearing between two bushes just a few feet away with his knees pulled up to his chest, facing away from them. They tried to take in his appearance but the light got brighter and it was hard to see at all.

“Why are you crying?” the girl with a rip in her skirt asked.

The boy jumped a bit in shock at the voice before turning to look at them with a bright smile. “What do you mean? I wasn't crying,” he laughed with another smile. His eyes were wide and bright, not at all red rimmed or wet, and his voice was clear and happy, not the wet nasally voice that came after crying.

Had he been crying? His cheeks looked wet.

“Hello! My name’s H-” his voice sounded muffled now, like it was coming from really far away. “-ry” what was his name again? It was so hard to hear, he repeated it again. Henry.

The girl with stars on her jacket looked like she wanted to say something but she couldn't, so she stayed quiet, staring on blankly.

Sitting at the edge of the forest, the girl with lopsided hair pouted fitfully, crossing her arms over his chest.

“What's wrong?” Henry asked as he snuck up on her from behind, his stuffed teddy bear swinging lightly in his grip. Looking up at him, the girl stuck her lip out again in a pout.

“A boy said he would be my best friend but now he won’t even play with me,” she grumbled.

“That's not very nice.”

“No, it's not,” she agreed, looking back at the playground in front of them again.

“I can be your friend!”

She turned her head back to look at him. “How do I know you won't just stop talking to me tomorrow?”

At her words Henry paused and he looked like he was deep in thought. Looking closer, she noticed the freckles painting his skin, just like her own. After a moment she watched as his eyes widened and a light bulb went off in his head as he reached animatedly for his pocket, rustling around for a moment before pulling out two bracelets.

“Here,” he held out one of the braided fabrics out to her.

“What is it?” She asked, hesitantly grabbing it from his hand.

“It’s a friendship bracelet. It means I can’t stop being your friend until you give it back!” he replied, taking her arm and sloppily fastening the bracelet to it.

“Really?”

“Mhm!” he hummed, nodding, his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on trying to attach the other bracelet to his own wrist.

After he barely managed to tie the weaved bracelet to his wrist, he came down to sit next to her, his stuffed bear falling to his side and the girl with lopsided hair turned to look at it.

“Do you like bears?”

“Hmm?” Henry turned his head to look down at it. He shook his head. “My mother gave it to me for my birthday. I much like birds better. They get to fly and explore the world from the skies.” He tipped his head back to look at the clear sky above them and in that exact moment a dove flew out from the forest behind them, the pure white of its feathers blurring in the sunlight as it flew across the sky above them before flying far far away. Henry smiled as he watched it wistfully before snapping out of his daze as he turned to answer her again “-especially flamingoes, they're my favorite, ‘cause they’re pink and that's my favorite color.”

The boy with braids in his hair sat at the edge of the playground, broken toy robot clutched tightly in his fist as he stamped his foot in the dirt in front of him angrily. His jaw was tense and felt wired shut as he huffed.

He barely recognized Henry approaching him in his stupor, Henry's brown eyes quirking down at him playfully.

“What's gotten you so wound up?” Henry asked with a light laugh.

He gripped the toy in his hand tighter.

“I got mad and broke the toy robot, and now all the kids don't want to play with me,” he spat between gritted teeth. It was stupid, he doesn’t even remember what he was angry about. Probably something stupid.

He threw the toy robot again, watching as it cracked against the ground, more plastic splitting off. And now none of the other kids would even look at him

“Well I’m not scared of you”

“What?” The boy with braids in his hair felt his eyes widen as he turned to look up at Henry for the first time. He was smiling and showing off the gap in his teeth, black strands of his hair licking at the sides of his face.

“Really?”

“Yep! Do you wanna play together?”

The boy with braids in his hair nodded and Henry came down to sit next to him.

“Here.” Henry thrusted his hand towards the boy. Confused, the boy fumbled to take Henry’s offering.

“What is it?” he asked, turning to look at Henry.

“A present! You can play with this and it won't break when you throw it.”

He looked down at the stone in his hand. It was white and covered in small black speckles that sparked in the light. Running his hand over the surface, it was still cool against his fingers, despite just being handed to him from Henry.

“Try it!”

Pulling his arm back, he threw the stone like he did the robot. It rebounded off the ground with a satisfying crack and the boy felt his chest lighten a bit. It felt good.

“See, I told you.” Henry smiled, grabbing the rock and giving it back to him. He only nodded in agreement.

He was about to throw the stone again when a rustling in the bushes by the forest behind them scared him and he dropped the stone in his startle.

Henry laughed lightly “Don't worry. It’s just a cat.”

As if on cue a mewl erupted from the bush and the boy with braids in his hair felt himself redden in embarrassment.

“Do you like cats?” Henry turned his head away from the bush to look at him. He shrugged.

Henry turned back to look at the bush and the boy followed in suit.

“I like cats, they're my favorite animal.” he paused for a moment and the bush rustled again.

“Do you think he likes the forest? It seems like he lives there.” He smiled thoughtfully. “I like the forest”

A black cat leapt out from the bush. Wasn't that supposed to be bad luck?

“I love how green the leaves are. It's my favorite color.”

The girl with the rip in her skirt looked down at the tousled doll in her hand, the pale blond hair that used to lie flat now stuck out at strange angles, held up by its waxy consistency, oh and the whole leg that was missing now. A gaping hole left under the Barbie’s clothes where it had been pulled away.

“What happened to her?” Henry asked curiously, strands of his darkish hair falling in his face as he leaned over her shoulder.

The girl with a rip in her skirt jumped in shock, almost dropping the doll in the process. When had he gotten there?

“Haha, did I scare you?”

She nodded, feeling a smile pull at her face when she looked at the beaming one on his, showing off his bright white teeth and pristine skin.

“My mom said I'm super quiet, like a ninja! And that I would give her a heart attack if I kept sneaking up on her,” he exclaimed, kicking his muddy shoes out in front of him.

“Really?”

“Mhm!” he nodded vigorously.

“Now you have to answer my question,” he pointed back at the doll.

“Me and another girl were fighting over her and her leg broke off. I think the other girl still has the leg.”

Henry's head quirked to the side. “Why were you fighting over her?”

“She was playing with her friends and bragging about how she had the prettiest doll and I got jealous and tried to take it,” she mumbled, looking away from Henry.

She looked down at the doll again. Did she really do that over a doll? She didn't even care about it now, so why?

Henry frowned and the girl with a rip in her skirt shuffled herself a bit, throwing the doll out in front of her. She didn't want it anymore.

“Do you like dolls?”

She nodded. They were fun to play with, when they weren’t broken that is.

“I like toy cars. They can go super fast and when you put them on top of a hill they roll all on their own.”

It was silent for a moment before she heard the rustling of clothing and a hand was held out to her.

“Here.”

She took the plush doll into her hands. She had brown hair made of yarn that was sewn along the top of the pale burlap like fabric that made up her skin. The stitch work along the seams was messy at best and she could see patches of criss-crossed stitches and wide gaps that had been taken over by a much more uniform hand that filled the gaps and holes with small sturdy stitches. But her eyes were most drawn to her bright orange dress.

“She might not be the prettiest doll but she's definitely the best ‘cause there’s no other doll like her.”

Henry smiled at her as she ran her hand over the scraggly brown yarn.

“I like her dress.”

Henry somehow managed to smile brighter at her words.

“I helped pick out the fabric, orange’s my favorite color, I didn’t sew it though, my mom did.” He seemed to pout a bit. “She said I would mess it up.”

He perked up a bit as he reached over to pull at the doll's dress. “I did get to help a little bit though, let me show you a secret!”

He flipped the doll over in her hands and turned the dress over to show the inside of the fabric to show a little dog drawn onto in brown marker.

“Don’t tell my mom.” Henry smiled, holding a finger up to his mouth in a shushing motion. “Dogs are my favorite and I wanted to add a bunch but my mom said that would look bad, so I added one secretly.”

The girl with a rip in her skirt laughed, running her finger over the secret dog.

“I love her.”

The sky was a dark color, black eating up the traces of purple that colored the night sky. If stars didn't paint the sky with blinding dots of white, it would have felt consuming. The playground was coated in the dark of night. The shadows of the trees and play equipment blending into each other, the only real light coming from the silver moon that was hidden behind a cloud, coating the world in even more darkness.

The boy with tired eyes laid at the side of the playground, grass itching at his neck and bare wrists where his hoodie rode up, but he was too tired to move, so he stayed staring up at the dark sky. Everything is asleep and he can hear silence creep into his ears until he can barely even hear the wind. Footsteps break the silence, the soft crunch of sand under shoes as Henry crosses the playground.

“Why are you still awake?”

Henry leaned over his laying form to look him in the eyes, his green eyes cutting through the dark easily and the boy thought he could see every detail in his iris.

“You’re awake too, dummy,” the boy grumbled sarcastically.

“Well I can be awake ‘cause I sleep all day,” he smiled and his eyes seemed to shine even brighter through the dark. “Like an owl!” he cupped his hands around his eyes to resemble an owl. “Hoot, hoot.”

The boy tried to roll his eyes but a huff of laughter forcing its way up his chest broke his air of indifference.

“Owls are the best! They’re my favorite.”

Henry smiled again before his expression dropped into something quieter.

“So why are you awake then?”

The boy with tired eyes averted his gaze, looking at the grass beside him, anything other than Henry’s pointed stare.

“Don't want to,” he mumbled out, hesitantly looking back up at Henry and he was immediately greeted again by the sharp green of his eyes studying back down at him again.

“Every time I go to sleep I get nightmares, but if I don’t sleep anymore I won’t get nightmares.”

“I've gotten nightmares before.” Henry nodded in agreement but the boy wasn't sure at what part.

Coming down from leaning over him, Henry knelt down and sat on his heels next to his arm and the boy would have sat up next to him if he wasn’t so tired. Reaching into his pocket, Henry pulled something out, pressing it into his hand.

Letting his head slowly lull to the side, the boy with tired eyes lethargically looked at his palm, where a carved wooden leaf sat. Turning it around in his hand, he pressed his thumb to the hand carved ridges. It felt soothing, but at the same time something else in his chest twinged. He closed his hand around the small wooden charm.

“My parents always used to give that to me when I had nightmares. It takes all the bad thoughts and blows them away.” Henry explained. “Maybe it'll help you.”

The boy with tired eyes turned his gaze from his hand to Henry as he tipped his head back to look at the sky. The moon finally came out from behind the cloud and covered the ground with silver light, streaks of purple in the sky looking vibrant in the new found light.

“It’s so pretty,” Henry mumbled, falling back to lie next to the boy and he felt a warm pressure around his hand as Henry grabbed onto it, the wooden charm resting between their palms. “The sky always looks so pretty at night, but it's my favorite when it's purple like this. That’s why it's my favorite color.” Henry smiled wistfully as he stared up at the sky. Looking away from Henry again, the boy with tired eyes turned his head to look up at the sky as well.

The silver moon was like a bright disk between the clouds, lighting up the purple sky, and it felt like the stars shone a little brighter than before, dancing across the sky in patterns he couldn't understand. It wasn't long before the moon was covered by another cloud, but this time the purple stayed, coating the sky in beautiful twisty strips.

The silence comes back again, but this time he doesn't feel quite as lonely.

He doesn't know how long they stay there stargazing in silence, their hands entangled around the wooden charm, but he feels himself grow more and more tired, until he's struggling to keep his eyes open. But this time he isn't scared to fall asleep. But, he still doesn't want to leave quite yet.

The boy’s head lulls to the side again to look at Henry resting next to him. He was still transfixed on the sky, his eyes sparkling wetly with something the boy couldn't quite identify resting deep in his eyes.

After another moment Henry seems to have noticed his shift since he tips his head to the side to look at him as well. The boy feels himself start to fade into sleep as Henry gives him a soft smile that doesn't quite carry to his eyes, and the boy can finally see it in his eyes. Regret. Henry’s gaze softens even more as his vision fades to black, his eyelids drop and the last thing he sees before he falls asleep are green eyes.

For once nothing scary invades the darkness of his sleep, but his chest feels heavy with something he doesn't quite understand.

The leaves rustled loudly that day as the wind ripped through them relentlessly, and the boy with jet black hair paced along the edge of the playground, brushing black strands of his hair out of his face as the wind misplaced them. He gripped the stuffed lion in his hand as he settled in the far corner of the playground, as far as he could go before he started to near the forest. He pointedly ignored the strange glances he was getting from the other kids on the school playground. How stupid.

He petulently tucks another strand of black hair behind his ear as the wind howled again, blowing against the trees and snatching leaves in its path as it whipped past his head. Even over the loud rustling of the wind, the boy with jet black hair can hear the crunch of footsteps against the playground sand and turns his head to look.

Henry seems to be having the same issue as him, his pale brown hair whipping around wildly in the wind as his warm brown eyes quirked at him curiously with an almost amused air, given away by his horribly suppressed smile.

The boy with jet black hair huffed and rolled his eyes, turning away again. Not dissuaded, Henry leans over the boy’s shoulder, tucking back a strand of his hair in vain as it’s blown away again immediately after.

“What are you doing?”

“Playing.” he answered bluntly, looking down at the toy in his hand again.

“I like your toy.” Henry smiled brightly. “Did you know the lion is the king of the jungle? They're super strong and prideful! That's why they're my favorite,” his voice was almost drowned out by the wind as he spoke.

The boy held up the toy in front of Henry’s face and gave a small “Rarw” in response, feeling an unwelcome smile pull at his lips when Henry burst out laughing.

He gave a small huff as he tried to recompense himself but Henry had already moved on, tipping his head back to look at the sky.

“It's so wide today!”

“That's because the wind blew away all the clouds.”

“It's so pretty,” he mumbled, reaching his hand up like he could grab the sky.

He looked to be a hundred miles away inside his own head and for a second the boy thought Henry might get lost in the blue and disappear. The thought made his chest feel funny so he tore his gaze away again, looking back to the stuffed lion in his lap.

Silence spread between them for a few seconds and despite the fact that he had been playing in the quiet only moments before, it didn't feel right anymore.

“Why are you all alone?” the boy with jet black hair jolted as the silence was broken.

“What do you mean? I’m not alone. You're here with me.” he hummed indifferently, raking his hands through the mane of the lion.

Henry laughed. “No silly, before I came over. You were playing on your own, isn’t that lonely? Why aren’t you playing with the other kids?”

The boy scoffs. “‘cause all the other kids are lame and boring.”

“Oh. Why?”

“‘Cause they are.”

The boy with jet black hair huffs.

Henry frowns as he looks over the boy’s shoulder.

“Did you try talking to them?”

“No. ‘Cause they’re lame and boring.”

“How do you know then?”

“Just do.”

“Oh.”

Silence spread between them again and the boy felt that indescribable itch creep up on him and he whipped his head around to look at Henry. He had turned around and was walking away.

“What are you doing?” he called after him quickly. He couldn't leave him. He didn't want to be alone now. “We weren’t done talking.”

Henry turned around to look at him again. “Don't want to anymore. You're boring.”

“How would you know!” he snapped angrily before- Oh.

Henry was watching him amusedly with a quirked eyebrow and the boy felt his cheeks burn up.

“S-shut up.”

Henry ignored his plight as he burst out laughing, walking back over as he giggled and sitting down next to him, so they were both facing the playground now.

“So why are you playing alone?” Henry asked again. The boy with jet black hair shrugged. He didn't have another answer, his chest itched again.

“I’m sure if you try it it won’t be that ‘boring’, I’m not boring right?” Henry smiled and the boy found himself begrudgingly nodding with a huff.

“Oh hey!” Henry’s hazel eyes lit up with an idea as his hands pat at his pockets, and the boy with jet black hair looked over curiously.

Pulling his hand out of his pocket, Henry showed him a pair of silver rings.

“They’re promise rings,” he explained, taking one ring in his hand and extending the other to him. “Or at least that's what my mom used to call them. You promise to try playing with the other kids and I promise that it won’t be as bad as you think.”

Sensing that he didn't have much of a choice, the boy with jet black hair took the silver ring from his pocket and put it on, watching Henry as he did the same with his own ring.

“And sealed!” Henry smiled as he put on his ring, officially sealing their promise. With a sigh the boy stood up, intent to fulfill his end of the promise as he took a step towards the playground, but Henry didn't follow him.

“Aren’t you coming?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Oh no, I'll be fine on my own.” he felt his eyebrows furrow. “You go ahead, I’ll be watching from here.”

He wanted to argue that he was being hypocritical, but the itch in his chest told him to leave it, that it was going to have to be this way. That he would have to learn to move past it. So he just gave a sharp nod and turned back around to fulfill the promise he had broken. He had to keep his word, he couldn't keep waiting for something for something that wasn't going to happen.

The wind picked up again and whisked his hair out of place again. He glanced over his shoulder one last time.

From the distance he thought Henry looked small in the purple sweater he wore over his button up shirt, the purple cotton so large on him that it always slipped off his shoulder, and he noticed the stuffed lion that he had left lying in the grass had migrated to Henry's lap.

The boy in the red hoodie fidgeted in his place, pulling at the strands of grass next to him. And his head flipped back and forth as he looked across the school playground with a frustrated grumble, kicking his feet into the ground impatiently.

“What’s wrong?” Henry asked, wasting no time as he skipped over to the boy.

“I wanna go play.” he complained, kicking his heels into the ground again.

Henry’s bright red hair flipped around as he bounded over and plopped down next to him. The vibrant color clashing oddly with his pale blue eyes and muddy birthmark splotched on his forehead.

“Then why aren’t you playing?”

“I can’t, I'm in timeout,” he answered, hands thrumming against the grass.

“Oh, why?” Henry cocked his head curiously.

“I couldn't sit still in class,” he explained, rocking forward again. “You aren’t supposed to talk to me you know.” He turned to look at Henry.

He gave him a flat look “What are they gonna do? Put me in timeout?”

The boy in the red hoodie laughed as he rocked back again. His body was thrumming with energy. He wanted to run and jump, but we were stuck here. He felt his foot start to tap against the grass impatiently as he looked out across the playground, watching the other kids enviously.

Henry watched his foot intently as it tapped against the grass, speeding up until it couldn't get any faster and the boy kicked his legs out in front of him with a groan of frustration.

“Do you like to run?”

Lifting his head the boy in the red hoodie gave him a nod. “And I’m super fast too -the fastest.” he added onto the end quickly.

“Then you're like a cheetah! They’re really cool and they run super fast! They’re really cool and they run super fast! They're my favorite.” He flashes him a bright smile. “They live in savannas and get to run all over the place and watch the sunset. I read that the sunsets there turn the whole sky red, just like your shirt.” he reached out and poked his shoulder and the boy looked down at his hoodie as well.

“That's why it's my favorite color,” he paused for a second. “I want to see it one day.”he tipped his head back, as if he could see it now, even though the sky was too cloudy to even see the sun. The boy felt a strange buzzing spread across his chest. He tapped his foot against the grass again to try and diffuse the buzzing energy in his legs and Henry watched him again.

And after a moment Henry threw something out in front of him.

“Here.”

“Huh? What is it?” He stopped tapping.

“It’s a clock.” The boy reached forward and grabbed the silver disk from the grass. It was warm from lying in the sun for so long.

“So you can always know how much class is left until recess.”

He pressed against the top half of the disk and watched as the lid slid away to reveal elegant printed numbers and moving hands. He sat there watching the black hands tick by second by second.

He only got to sit there for a moment though before a voice shook him from his stupor, but it wasn't Henry’s.

“Your timeout is over. You can go play now,” it was one of the helpers that had been hired to watch them while they played. She ignored Henry as she spoke to him. He felt his legs buzz with energy again. He barely even waited for her to leave before he was moving.

Jumping to his feet he bolted forwards, feeling the wind against his face and the buzz of energy in his legs start to recede a bit. After a moment the buzzing in his chest still wouldn't go away so he started to slow down his pace a bit before coming to a stop. He gazed over his shoulder to where Henry was sitting alone now.

He had his knees pulled up to his chest as he watched him go, he was too far away to see his expression from the distance but he thought his pale blue eyes looked glossy.

The angry buzzing in his chest tightened. It made him want to run. Run fast enough the wind whipped in his ears and his legs ached and felt like jelly. Run fast enough he could leave the buzz behind him. He wanted to run.

So he did. He turned his back and he ran. He ran until his legs ached and felt like they would buckle under him. He ran until the buzz was gone and he collapsed in the grass.

The sky was darker than normal with clouds, casting a hard grey light over the playground. Even if the sun could sometimes break through the thick clouds, casting small drops of sunlight onto the ground the rain was coming and there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop it.

The girl with stars on her jacket sat blankly by the edge of the playground staring off into nothing. Her mind felt blank and unfocused, like she couldn't bring herself to think anything.

Instead of announcing his presence hastily like he normally would, Henry stayed silent, coming up to stand in front of her quietly and waiting for her to notice him.

A few long moments pass of silence before she seems to come back to herself, her eyes widening slightly as she notices him, lifting her head slowly to look at him. Tan shorts and a black shirt with a heavy purple jacket handing off his shoulders. Her eyes stop moving when she gets to his shoulders, not daring to look any higher, she wasn't sure what she would do if she did, so she let her gaze linger there.

“Hi?” he asks quietly, lifting one of his hands that had been clasped in front of him in a small wave. After another moment of silence he asks “are you okay?”

Her head moves in a slow nod, feeling like it's wading through thick liquid. “I just can’t seem to focus right now.” She answers him. “I feel like I should be remembering something, but I can't, and whenever I try everything gets really fuzzy.” she explains as he moves to sit next to her but she doesn't move her head to watch him, letting him settle into the space right outside her peripheral vision. Silence bleeds between the two of them again and she feels herself space out again when his voice cuts through it.

“Maybe it’s because it's supposed to be like that.” he leans forward again and she can see the tips of his brown hair in the side of her vision for a moment.

She feels herself lose focus on the world again and it's a while before she can answer him again.

“Then why can’t I remember anything at all sometimes?”

“Maybe that's just part of the process.” she can hear a sad smile clinging to his voice.

She wants to ask him but she can’t.

“It hurts right now. But maybe in a while it won’t feel so bad.”

The boy leans back, his arms around his knees catching him as he tips his head back to look at the sky. “It's going to rain soon,” she doesn't answer. “Do you think the fish feel the rain? Or does it just sink into the dark blue depths of the sea without a trace?”

She feels her fingers at her side twitch in the grass, feeling a gray star charm under them that she doesn't remember grabbing.

“I love fish and the color blue”

The rain starts slowly, soaking into her jacket and leaving small dark spots behind or rolling down her hair and wetting it into clumps. Slowly she lifts her gaze to the sky to watch, feeling the drops wet her face as she tries to ignore the empty space next to her.

Seven children all gather together in a circle. Well not really a circle, it’s disjointed and a bit too big, leaving a gap between two of them. Each of them had a small trinket in their hand.

The air was tense and silent, for a reason none of them knew how to describe.

They all wanted to do something for the boy they all knew but they weren’t sure what. None of the ideas they had felt right, that was until someone suggested a birthday. It was perfect, except for one thing, they didn't know when his birthday was.

The sun set on the forest as the animals who loved there argued.

All sitting around the large flat rock at the forest center they screamed back and forth. The lion was trying to take charge but nothing felt right no matter what they tried. Not since one of their friends had gotten lost and not come back.

They all missed him and felt worried. They had tried to find him but none of them could. No matter how long or far they searched he was nowhere to be found.

So they had to try to go back to normal, but they couldn’t. Nothing felt right anymore and they sometimes wondered what would have happened if a different one of them had gotten lost? Would it be the same? Or would they all be fine?

No one laughed in the forest anymore. The cat and the lion argued with each other even more, their screams filling up the forest air as the flamingo tried to squawk over them to get them to stop in. The dog used to try and help but after a while gave up and the fish watched in silence, blowing bubbles and watching them rise. The cheetah could never sit still. Raring to run through the forest and hope they stumbled upon their lost friend and the owl ignored it all and watched the sunset as it cast rainbow of colors across the sky, before sucking them away into cold darkness. Well it was almost a rainbow, it was missing one color.

Within all the commotion none of the animals notice the bear watching from the shadows. The sky grows darker.

They still didn’t know when his birthday was but they decided to go ahead and have the party on Thursday, they couldn’t be that far off.

They cut up colored paper and strung them together to make decorations and drew up images and ideas, and they even pooled together their money to buy a present. But none of them could agree on which stuffed animal to buy. Each one of them insisted on a different animal.

They argued about it for what seemed like hours until just deciding to get one none of them suggested, despite the girl with lopsided hair’s odd insistence that he wouldn't like it.

A few days passed and the party neared. The day of they hung their decorations around that were really just triangles cut out of construction paper taped to string. Unsure of how to wrap the present, one of them sloppily tied a bow around the neck of the stuffed animal using leftover ribbon and placed it on the center of the desks they had pushed together to form a sort of janky circle.

Each of them had their own gifted item with them, some fiddling with them as they got ready. And once they had finished they all took a seat around the middle table they had put together, creating a sort of semi circle in the dimly lit classroom.

Then they waited for him to come. They weren't sure how long they waited and some worried he wasn't going to come but that was quickly dispelled. He was going to come, they knew it, he had to.

And he did. All of a sudden he was in front of them, with the unreadable expression on, before his eyes widened in surprise as he looked around. Everything is quiet for a moment and no one speaks. Until the boy with braids in his hair breaks the silence.

“Happy Birthday H-” He tries to start but cuts off. He can't, he can't do it. He lets out a choked whimper.

The boy now in front of them doesn't seem to mind though as he c***s his head and smiles. But he still looks so sad, a wet gleam builds up in his eyes.

“Thank you so much, but this isn't for me.” he paused for a moment as he looked around the room before his eyes swept over each of them as he swallowed shakily. “I care about you guys and you mean a lot to me, which is why I'm really sorry I couldn't stay longer, but I have to go now, so… so don't wait for me, okay?” The last part comes out coarse and raw, and tears roll down his face silently.

And then he was gone, just as quickly as he came, without giving them time to ask why, or tell him to stay, or even say goodbye. Now they're back alone in the dimly lit classroom, just as they always had been, ‘cause he had never really been there, not truly.

No one’s sure who started first but a sob echoed through the room, then another, and another, till the whole room was filled with cries. From the way tears streamed silently down the girl with stars on her jacket’s face to how the girl with a rip in her skirt hiccuped small breaths or the boy with the red hoodie rocked back and forth in his chair and the boy with tired eyes tried to muffle his sobs with the palms of his hands or how the boy with jet black hair scrubbed fruitlessly at the tears on his cheeks. They were crying for the friend they lost, that they lost and wasn't ever coming back.

Tears flowed like rain falling from clouds and flooding the world below. But as time ticks on all things come and go, and just as dark clouds gather and darken the sky, the rain has to end eventually and the clouds part to see the sun again and dry up all the rain. So eventually the tears come to a stop as there are none left to give and the classroom is left silent again.

The classroom is left silent again until the door opens. Until the door opens and a little boy steps through. A boy with brown hair and green eyes, and muddy shoes with a teddy bear clutched close to his chest. With a birthmark on his forehead and a missing tooth. Who wore an oversized purple sweater that slipped off his shoulder layered over a white button up dress shirt that peaked through the top.

He carefully closes the door behind him as he enters before turning back around to face them again, his shoulders slightly hunched in on himself as he scuffs his shoe against the floor anxiously before looking up at them hesitantly

“I’m not quite sure why, but I know I’m supposed to be here right now.” he breaks the quiet of the classroom again, and lifts his head a bit more confidently this time.

The next time the quiet is broken it isn't him though as the girl with lopsided hair speaks up leaning forward in her chair just a bit.

“W-what's your name?”

“My name is Henry. It's very nice to meet all of you,” he hugs his bear a bit tighter as he stumbles through the formal greeting. “What are all your names?”

The boy with braids in his hair speaks up first, “My name’s Aiden.”

The boy with jet black hair answers next, “I’m Luke.”

The girl with a rip in her skirt rubs at her eye before answering: “My name’s Mary.”

The girl with lopsided hair is next, “I’m Anabelle.”

The boy with tired eyes glanced at the boy in the hoodie before answering, “I’m Paytent.”

The boy with the red hoodie answers quickly after him, “and I’m Ben.”

And the girl with stars on her jacket answers last. “Stella”

Henry gives a shy smile “T-thank you. I hope we can be friends.”

“What's your favorite animal?” Stella cut in after him. “And color.”

The other seated six all glance over at her in surprise before they all returned their gazes to Henry for his answer.

“Um- b-bears are my favorite.” he hugged the beaten plush to his chest. “and I really like yellow.”

“It's perfect then.” It's Mary who speaks this now, looking at the bear plush sitting at the center of the tables, tied off with a yellow ribbon.

“I-Is that for me?” Henry asks after a moment, pointing at the plush and Paytent nods.

“But he already has one,” Anabelle points out with a sniff.

“Y-yea, but I r-really like bears.” he mumbled, squishing the bear plush in his arm again before the room burst out in laughter. Wet laughter that comes after crying, but laughter that was starting to dry out again.

She stood at the edge of the playground by the brick wall of the schoolhouse watching all the kids play with a smile but she felt so very stiff and tired, a stressful ache seeming to have sunken into her every move lately as her eyes glazed over all the playing children, focusing on seven particular figues spread along the outskirts of the playground.

It hurt to see her students in so much pain without her able to do anything about it. Her eyes flickered down to the side to an eighth figure beside her, the newest addition to her class to ‘fill’ the empty spot, sat in the grass a generous distance away from her hugging the teddy bear he took with him everywhere close to his chest as he looked anxiously at the lively playground, flinching back slightly when a particularly loud short or scream erupted.

He was in foster care and had recently been placed with a sweet old couple a few roads down before he had joined her class. She didn't know much about foster care but what she had seen of the timid boy told her a lot.

“Mrs. Harold?” she was shocked out of her thoughts by the boy’s quiet call.

“Yes Henry?” She smiled, turning to the boy in question

“When will recess be over?” he asked quickly, sending another anxious glance over at the playground.

“Do you want to go inside early and play?”

“I can do that?” he looked up at her with wide eyes

“Mhm, I'll take you inside and the other teachers can watch your classmates while they play.”

She smiled softly as Henry got to his feet and she gently guided him inside, sending one last glance over to the playground and the seven scattered figures. She might not be able to help them right now but she could at least do what she could to help him. Stepping into the dimly lit classroom she made her way over to her desk, watching as Henry hesitantly sat down on the ground with some blocks to play with

She should have been watching them better.

She let her fingertips glide over the all to familiar newspaper sitting on her desk, the memorized black words standing out starkly even in the dim light.

Young Boy Dies in Tragic Accident.

On June 19 of 2013 tragedy struck when a young boy fell in the forest and hit his head. His friends tried to…

The eight of them used to be so close. They were nearly inseparable in everything they did. She remembers seeing them bunched up in the corner of the playground everyday, laughing and planning adventures.

She remembers it all so vividly. She had been ushering in students after it had started to rain, trying to speak over their complaints and squeals as they either ran from the rain or to go jump in the puddles and get wet. She hadn't even noticed they slipped away.

When Ben came running up to her in tears screaming at her to come she felt her stomach drop.

That boy had always loved dragging his friends away with him on adventures.

Paytent was bawling and holding him in his lap while Luke shook desperately at his shoulder while Aiden pulled at his sleeve in hysterics screaming that he was hurting him more. Mary and Anabelle had fallen over themselves in tears and Stella looked frozen in shock.

The creek they always loved to sneak off to play in ran red with blood

It was a while until she saw them after that, a week and a half to be exact. But even through all the paperwork and proceedings and interviews to hire new teachers aids and plans to build fences she couldn't stop thinking about them, about that horrific scene. And when she did see them again it was like none of them were the same. None of them spoke about it but it was clear none of them were okay. The friends that had been so inseparable now barely looked at each other. It was like they had never spoken to each other.

She saw how angry Aiden always was. How Luke pushed himself away from people and isolated himself. How Anabelle threw herself at people trying to make friends, to get back what she used to have. How Ben could barely sit still anymore. The way Paytent looked more and more tired everyday. She saw it in the way Stella would zone out and forget what she was doing. How bitter and sick Mary always looked watching the other groups of friends.

Their friendship had been torn apart in an instant and now they were all on their own in pain. Like a piece of a cloth was torn away and now all the threads were fraying away. And there was nothing she could think to do to help.

Swallowing hard she blinked away the misty eyes that had snuck up on her, raising a hand to quickly wipe away a stray tear, she needed to keep better composure of herself. She collected herself quickly, now wasn't the time for that, she still had responsibilities to take care of. She glanced over at Henry who was watching her, block still clutched in hand from his half constructed tower, his teddy bear now resting in his lap.

“Mrs. Harold?-”

“Hey Henry, how would you like to do this everyday?” she interrupted subtly with a smile.

She couldn't always help her students but she would do her best.

The sky rained down again that week and she'd be lying if she said she didn't see seven of her students trying to hide their tears.

The playground was wet for a few days after the storm and she was too scared to let the kids out, but on the third day she deemed it dry enough and opened the door to the kids.

Henry had looked up from his desk with searching eyes before she had given him a nod that he could stay before she grabbed a few papers from her desk and went outside to check on the kids and teachers' aids before coming back.

Letting her eyes sweep across the playground she immediately paused when she saw seven children huddled in the corner of the playground again. She felt her chest swell as she immediately made her way over to check on them.

Making her way over to the group Paytent was the first to acknowledge her. He was standing up from the group with a piece of paper when he saw her. He still looked tired, but maybe a little less so than before. The dark circles under his eyes looking a little lighter than before.

She greeted him quietly as he took a step away from the group. “Hi Paytent,” she could see him stiffen slightly, gripping his paper a little tighter. Looking closer she could see a purple owl scribbled onto the page and she could see something else brown clutched in his hand as well.

“How's it going?” she questioned gently and she could see him relax a bit.

“We’re um. Planning a birthday for Henry.” he shifted his weight on his feet anxiously as he looked up at her.

“A birthday?” she asked with a smile, but she could feel her chest pang painfully when the realization hit her, Paytent nodded biting down on his lip. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.” she masked her pained reaction with a smile as she clasped her hands in front of her softly and she could see Paytent relax at her words a bit. “Would you like to use the classroom for that? What day is it on?” she continued on smoothly.

Paytent swallowed, nodding, “Thursday,” he answered and she could feel his small eyes studying her.

“That's great, I can’t wait to see what you come up with,” she gives him her best reassuring smile smile as she could feel his eyes flick away again as he squirmed a bit in place before muttering a thank you and abruptly turning away again and going back to the group, previous objective that he had stood up for inherently forgotten as he cautiously joins the circle again with a quiet mumble.

“Mrs. Harold just said that we could use the classroom.”

She felt her chest swell painfully again as she watched the group of seven shift anxiously as they mumbled to one another hesitantly, a stiff distance between all of them, almost as if they weren’t sure what would happen if they touched. It wasn't the boisterous group of eight that would joke and scream and throw themselves onto one another but it was something, it was a start.

She could see papers in front of them, each with a different animal on it and seven familiar trinkets held in each of their hands. A memory swam to the surface of her mind.

When she felt her breath hitch in her throat she quickly spun around. Checking that none of the students had seen her she hurried back inside again, barely sparring a nod to one of the teacher's aids as she passed them.

Pressing the door closed behind her she leaned back against it. They weren't the same, not by a long shot. She could still see the say Paytent’s eyes blinked sleepily or the way Ben’s foot tapped as he fiddled with the paper in front of him or the way Stella struggled not to zone out. They weren't the same, and they probably never would be. You can mend a fabric that's been cut but it won't ever be exactly the same as it was before. But that doesn't mean that it's ruined or useless. Fabrics that have mends and scars have memories and meaning. Nothing can stay the same forever, all things will break and rip and get fixed again over time. And just because it's not the same as it was before doesn't mean that it's worse than before, it's just new. Whether that new is bad or good depends on what people make of it.

“Mrs. Harold? Are you okay?” her eyes snapped open and darted down to meet green ones. Her hand coming up to quickly tap her cheek, it came back wet. She needs to get a better hold of herself, she had forgotten Henry was in here.

“Oh, I'm just fine. Don’t worry about me.” she put on her best smile as she tried to reassure him, coming down to a crouch to be on his level and she could see him nod and hug his teddy closer to his chest.

She swallowed thickly “Hey, there are some kids that want to throw you a birthday party, is that something you'd be up for?”

She swears she sees stars in his eyes when she tells him and she chuckles lightly when he starts nodding his head fervently. She thinks it's the most carefree reaction he's had since he got there. He looks like a kid excited for a party instead of a scared boy, it's a good look on him.

After a moment he pauses with a confused look

“But it's not my birthday anytime soon.”

“I know that, but that's just what they're calling it, it's more like a celebration of sorts that they want to invite you to. Those kids have been really sad recently because something bad happened and they’re looking for something to help them cheer up, and I really think they could use a new friend to help them if you wanted.” she explains and he hugs his bear as he nods but she feels her gaze go past him over his shoulder. It might not be his birthday soon but she knows someones who’s is around this time, her eyes landed on the old desk she hadn’t yet been able to remove the name tag too, so a messy ‘Harry’ scribbled in black crayon was still taped to the surface, peeling at the edges from when water had been spilt on it.

“Mrs Harold, Mrs Harold!”

She fought against a smile as she pretended to ignore the hyper boy at her feet. A chuckle finally escaped her as he gave a particularly extravagant tug on her skirt.

“Yes Harry?” She turned her head to look down at the bright boy with a raised eyebrow.

“You were ignoring meee!” he whined, flailing his arms in the air.

“I was?” she said in mock shock, bringing up a hand to cover her mouth. “I’m sorry, I couldn't tell.”

Harry laughed, still bouncing in place

“So what was your question then?” She smiled.

“Oh right! So do you remember that Secret Santa thing we’re doing?”

“Mhm,” she hummed in agreement though she wasn't quite sure how she could forget, she had just finished passing out the slips and explaining them a few minutes ago.

“Well I got Mary.” he announced proudly, holding up the small slip of paper in his hands as proof.

“You must be happy about that then.”

“Well yea, but what if I don't want to JUST give a present to Mary? What about all my other friends, won't they feel left out?”

Mrs. Harold felt herself laugh as she bent over a little to be closer to his level

“You know you don't have to draw someone in Secret Santa to give them a present right?”

She watched amusedly as his eyes widened. “Really?!”

She laughed again, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth as she nodded. The boy changed his favorite color on a daily basis, of course he couldn't choose just one friend to gift to, the thought warmed her chest.

Before Harry could asker her another train of questions they were interrupted by a shout across the room.

“Harry!”

They both turned their heads to see Mary waving wildly from across the room. “Hurry up, we wanna play cards!” next to her she could see Anabelle throwing herself onto a less than appreciative Luke, no doubt trying to get him to tell her his Secret Santa, while Aiden snickered at them, idly holding a green crayon from where he had been drawing while Stella stole the paper out from under his arm and started doodling wildy on it while he was distracted and Ben and Paytent sat together and messed with a deck of Uno on the desk, poorly trying to shuffle it and making more of a mess.

“Im coming!” he shouted back at Mary with more volume than necessary before turning back to look at her

“So what are you going to get them?” She asked him.

“I’m not sure yet but it's gonna be awesome!” was the only response she got before he was turning to run and play with his friends.

And a week later she got her answer when each one of them was presented with a small trinket and reacted with the childlike wonder that made her choose her job in the first place.

It wasn't long before she found herself on Thursday standing in the darkened hallways of the school with Henry. They stood quietly by the closed door to the classroom listening to the occasional rustle or mumble coming from the room. After a while the rustle died down into silence and Henry looked up at her, eyes asking a silent question and she shook her head. They weren't done quite yet. After a moment she felt her chest tighten when she heard it.

“Happy Birthday H-” the rest of the sentence was cut off by a choked noise.

And then it was quiet again for a moment, before a sob cut through the air, and then another, and another, and another, before the whole room was filled with sniffles and cries.

She looked down at Henry but he wasn't confused or apprehensive like she thought he might but instead he looked calm, if not a bit anxious. People seem less scary when they have flaws she supposed. And Henry was a smart boy, he probably already knew what the name tag on his desk meant

Soon enough the cries quieted down into silence as well and this time Henry moved without prompting, stepping towards the door to enter, only stopping moment before he reached the handle to look up at her anxiously. She couldn't tell if he was asking for confirmation to enter or reassurance but she smiled and nodded and that seemed to be enough for him as he timidly pressed the door open and stepped in.

The party had never really been a birthday party, it had always been a going away party, whether they had known it or not. She had seen it in Paytent’s eyes when they spoke, and that's why it hurt so much.

But now it was time for new starts. Henry wasn't going to replace Harry. Harry wasn't ever the kind of person you could just replace, they knew that even better than she did. He was explosive and charismatic and he always drew the best out of people and he always found the people who needed it most and drew them together. He convinced the loner Luke to make friends, or get the meek Stella to come out of her shell, or soften the sharp tongue Aiden had, and hold Ben’s short attention span.

He pulled them into his gravity and created a friendship that never would have come together otherwise with people that were different from each other in a friendship you would never imagine would work but always just did as if they were puzzle pieces that were always designed to fit together. And if he had met Henry he would have done the same with him too. He would have seen him and instantly known he belonged in the puzzle in the way that he always did. But he wasn't here to do that anymore.

Harry was such a brilliant child. She had seen him at the center of their circle bringing all these children together that were polar opposites like they were always meant to be like that. What he spent so long lovingly building up between them all wouldn't fall apart so easily even if he wasn't able to be there at the center of it all anymore. And Henry wasn't going to fill up that hole he had left for all of them but he was another piece of that perfect puzzle Harry was always able to see, and she knew that they would just have to keep going, even with that missing piece that would always be there, cause the world wasn't going to stop changing it was up to them to change with it

The sound of wet laughter from behind the door made her smile. They weren't going to be the same, but that new story that they were creating was going to turn out just fine. And this wasn't going to fix everything and fix the scars that were left behind, but it was a start.

And if she let recess last a little longer than normal that day no one needed to know.