A Slow Grind With Pain

“A Slow Grind with Pain”

(Whispered)
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close


It seems like,

I’ve taken two shots of holy water

 from a lead lined goblet

 in an attempt to redirect my mental pain.
Because I guess I was too vain to admit

that I conjured up bouts of amnesia.

 For the times I didn’t want to remember

slow grinding with insanity

 and the clandestine romps I had

with thoughts profane.
And I contracted an infection of clarity

Every time I slipped away from the conjoining.
My memory of the enmity I held for rationality

was the lithium that made me lucid each morning.
And In the midst of these battles

with what some might call my iniquity.
I thought I could somehow influence the sin to depart my being

 or at least get sick of me.
But the salacious nature towards malevolent acts

Committed against reason

Tended to stick with me
But I confronted it.

Then, I cut it with the knife of logic

And I let it bleed, thickly.

(Whispered)
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close


I, Think I, once slept on

a bed of nails

 with the poison of others alternative agendas

 injecting hatred into my soul.
And every day

 I awakened to sup on that ignorance

And stereotypes they left me

in my breakfast bowl.
And finally I came to realize that

I wasn’t hungry for what they were serving.
And in retrospect my rote approach to feeding myself

 on the sustenance they fed me was unnerving.
Because it took me a while

to find out on what I had been feeding.
Hate and dislike,

Generalization and stereotype,

Were the unpalatable slop I had been eating.
I got up and I walked away

with a new found empathy in my eyes.

Because before I was to be buried

on their path of lies

 I realized

That I’ve had realizations before

but this one impacted me the most.

 

I knew then that

I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close

It feels like

I swam through a lake of vitriol

With fallen souls trying to drown me
And I saw similar drowning (’s) happening

To people that looked like me.

They were people with similar hopes and dreams.

In groups of sixes

 Upon groups of sixes

Upon groups of sixes

In the area around me
And the screams that left my mouth

 were only escalated and heard

 in the volumetric area of brain tissue

in my troubled head.

Words were never spoken

no expressions were vocally ever said

 So, they made no sound see.

I was sinking to the bottom quick

But within the depths of the depressive waters

 Sanity found me.
And it pulled me back by my cerebrum

 To the shores of rationality
And here I sit now telling you

 how I was saved from the ignorance

and potential mental fatality.
And now when I recall

the sane and “not so” brawl

What I remember most of all

is something that’s more an exhortation than a boast.

So it’s here and now that I present to you

what was my ghost.

(Whispered)
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy but I’ve been close
I haven’t gone crazy

 

(Loud)

But I’ve been close

 Copyright 2011 Vincent L.Jones (Blakprinze/LucidBlak)