Janey Chapter 1

An older Jane has reached her limit in regard to her husbands infidelity. At 67 years old, she can no longer ignore the pain cause by Jacks betrayal.

  "Are you f_n kidding me!"

  Outrage takes over as I listen to the message. I press the replay button to listen again and rev up my hate even more. 

"Hey, I know this is not the right number, but I couldn't get a hold of you on your cell. Just erase this after you hear it my love. I really enjoyed yesterday's brunch, and the dessert too." 

His disgusting laughter makes my skin crawl. Piece of crap. 

"I'll be back on the fourth, call me after you get this, I miss you. I love you Jack." 

"You PRICK!"

 I can't help but scream to the flashing red light. Purposely, I hit the delete button. 

I think to myself,

 No, he won't be getting this message you moron. 

For God sakes, why do I put up with this? What am I holding onto. Breathe. I need to breathe. 

Next to the answering machine I see a picture of us. Smiling, arms wrapped tightly around each others waists. A younger version of myself peers back through the frame, and I can't remember. I can't remember if I knew then what I know now

. 

Frustrated and hurt, I throw the frame across the kitchen and watch it shatter against my granite counter top and onto my hardwood floors. S**t. Now I have to clean that up, but God did that feel good. I slip my Tory Burch sandals back on and find my broom. Thinking of that losers message and how happy he sounded. Ugh...he does not deserve to feel happy. I grit my teeth and grind my shoe on a piece of glass that landed on the floor. It feels good. To good,  actually until I realize what I've done. I look down at a gaping scratch and carved out chunk of my beautiful mahogany floor. The wide plank mahogany that Jack had to have, bypassing my practical suggestion of a cheaper version. The facade continued even then.

 

Get it together Janey.

Pissed at myself now, I use the broom to sweep the shards of glass away. On the newly formed scratch, I rub my fingers over it and realize, 

"Yup, damaged. Just like me."

After cleaning up the broken mess, I find the cashmere, burnt orange Ralph Lauren mat, and place it over the wounded, wooden floor.

 

Reminding myself, 

"Cover it up. Just like you've covered up everything else in your life.

At this point, who cares if he sees it. I hope he does actually. 

But for right now, I need to hide you, in only for my own sake. I refuse to be reminded of that interlopers intent." 

I shake my head in disgust, as the thought enters my mind of leaving one tiny piece of glass on the floor in hopes Jack will step on it. 

"Maybe as it digs into the bottom of his foot, he'll hurt the way I hurt right now."

 Although it's not him I want to hurt, is it? It's Louis. Jack deserves to spread his wings. Live the rest of his days as the man he kept hidden from the world for so long. Right? Isn't that fair to him?

 But what about me? What do I deserve? Certainly not to feel insecure 24/7. Betrayed every time I see him on that damn computer. Furious and lonely when I roll over at night and view his side of the bed untouched. Blankets pulled tight because he's on one of his, "breaks". How many times have I heard my sisters tell me to leave. 

My own boys say, 

"Mom we understand if you want to divorce him." 

No! I will not do that. That is not what I envisioned as a little girl. I would rather tolerate his bizarre, twisted Gay lifestyle. Why should he get his cake and eat it too. Wake up happy and free without me, while I struggle to make ends meet , and more importantly, alone. I don't think so. Even if I have to make his life hell for the remainder of my life, I'll do it. 

I plop myself on the white sofa and close my eyes. Ugh. What would his mother think. What would she say to me or him if she was still alive. I know she would be disappointed in her perfect little boy. I know just what she would tell me.

 

"No marriage is perfect, Janey. We all pick our poisons  to swallow and this is yours."

 Of course she wouldn't say it in an obnoxious way. Not Katie. After all, I adopted her, "love my son forever and without judgement" mentality. 

She would reiterate, how a marriage is a promise to each other and God. Through thick and thin, until death do you part. 

Well, we'll see. Maybe his threats of ending his life at 70 will hold true. God forgive me.  Look what I allowed to exist. What the hell is wrong with me. No wonder why his sons are lost. 

"Now, that's not true Janey and you know it."  

I utter to myself.

 "After all these years, you've managed to raise them, send them to college and keep them out of prison. As well as not have any illegitimate grand babies." 

Of course I wasn't easy on which girls they brought home. Yet their choices were always poor.   I could see right through those little s***s who thought,

 "Ooh rich boy, I'll tag this one." 

No way would I have it. Yet  I think to myself, isn't that hypocritical? Isn't that what you thought when you first met Jack? 

Not really the same circumstances being that I've known hime since I was eleven. 

However, I was not about to lose one of my sons to a little tramp who thought she won the lotto.  

Placing my hand over my heart, I was relieved to feel it still beating. 

"Still alive Janey! Must keep moving for those boys. Even though they are well grown now, you're still their mama Act like it." 

Oh lord, it wasn't always this way. Jack wasn't always this selfish.

Author's Note

Please ignore grammatical errors. Reviews are welcome.

Reviews

[Carlie]

Yes definitely keep posting! I think you have created a very interesting plot line here and it would be fun to see how you develop these characters. Especially this spunky 67 year old woman who seems to have a lot of anger. I like the flow of the chapter and the way you leave lots of ends to be explained.

[Michael G.]

two interesting, and different chapters. I like flashbacks when I read something. They give more depth. The first chapter is startling, with many ways to go with this one. So far, to be honest, I'm not sure I like any of the characters introduced in this chapter... but will hold judgement til later.
The second chapter, I missed the explanation at the top, so I thought it was a flashback involving Jane. So it read differently until I caught my mistake.

Keep writing... you've drawn me in.

[Lynn's Corner]

The next chapter is about Jane's mother as a young teen. Her name is Fay. She is in high school, and something terrible happens. Her parents send her away to live with her aunt and uncle.She meets Jane's father and the reader witnesses the beginning of Jane.

Someone needs to let me know if I should continue to post them...so far no interest