January Cold

Tell them what you need, what you will
All they want to hear, I'll say it's true
Tell them I'm sorry for whatever I did
And I'll promise to believe every sugar coated lie
Just to make them feel good

I just don't give a damn anymore
Who cares if I'm made the fool, toyed and thrown away
I'm just a means to some fleeting need
Gilded star for a second if I'm to believe all that was said
Gilded star for a moment if I look back on all I felt
And a lost soul if I believed either was ever true

Sometimes I wonder if I'm right for this place
If I could ever open up and let go
Without being brought down to the reality of snake charmers
Tearing away bit by bit at the optimism and light
That use to fill my heart in my days of vibrant youth
All I want is to see the world smile and play
To give my all, to go over the top with generosity
But such is the dream of the dreamer
Who never really likes to sleep

Tell the world what you will of me
It doesn't seem to matter much anymore
I was once floating on a cloud
Now I'm grounded here in this state of confusion
Trying to make sense of time, the questions in my head, and the world
Where did I go wrong, let things fall apart
How many moments was I truly one of the sighted left in the dark
Is having a heart really weakness or a reason for someone to get over
What do I really believe about me

If only I was something more, something special
I could tell myself that this sorrow is only a temporary lapse
Of a weary and frazzled mind
But every time I try to fly I think what's the point
How much further can you get with wings that keep getting clipped
Even if I do soar high, the sun is my only destination
And it always seems to burn those that try
For something better than this sullen rat race
For a reason not to lay down and die

Reviews

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very deep powerful poem full of feelings! Well written!