Can't Sleep

About my aversion to sleep

I can't sleep because I don't want to
Dreams aren't an escape just more nightmares
That I try to run from in the awake moments
I can only seem to feel the peace in the twilight
Taste the mellow serenity under the night sky
With the starts charting an unknown course I long for

Forgive me if I seem haggard and run down
This is not something I'd wish for you to see
I'd like to one day be at peace with the Sandman's Symphony
To relish the moment my eyes close to give my body rest
But with the close of my tired eyes comes the lost moment
Another track of time lost, another spent in the painful unconscious

And on those occasions I lay my head upon the pillows
Sleep only comes in spurts, sleep is not continuous, sleep is illusion
Waking at odd hours as if to tell myself to fight the sound
The Sandman makes while sprinkling sand upon the eyes of the resting world
Though it only seems to work for a blink of an eye for me

For fear I leave the artificial slumbers to others who pray for rest
Though strong, not even the spirit of Mr Daniels can grant me a full respite
A day once I had that sleep I hear in legend and fairytale
Fall in the night and rise with the sun
Though I don't know if it's truly real or something I tell myself to believe
Just so I can claim a bit of sanity, a bit of normality

I feel that there is a void, something that could be the key
To understanding this anti-slumber stance
A long yearned answer to help me embrace the relaxation of the night
With eyes closed and mind drifted off to beautiful dreams
Where I can feel the weight of my world lifted
If only for a few hours at a time

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

Well written and expressed poem. I had trauma nightmares and flashbacks for years. Finally they just vanished. I still have them every now and then but they are few and far between now. It funny, you unconciously avoid sleep at all costs. I would stay until the wee hours at light night coffee houses. Great poem.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Well written poem! I've been there, done it and never want to go back!

[OT]

very well written!! we've all been there!! they come and go in waves of subconscious rebellion! I like the reference to good ole Mr Daniels, yet still unable to solve the problems!! it can read literally or metaphysically to mean different things! well structured and strong content! nice!! top marks!