21 Years Gone

A poem about my father on what would have been his 61st birthday

21 years and I'm still feeling the loss
The wishes that I make can never come true
I just want a moment, I just want to talk with you

I think of all that could be
If you just could have held on
If only I knew the story
Knew what was real, all that was true
But you left me with a liar
The story changes here and there
I can only close my eyes and wipe away the tears
As I try to find a way to tell you all the things
I never got a chance to say

I don't know where you've gone
We buried you away in a lonely unmarked grave
I'm sorry it still remains that way
It's haunts me because I don't know why
It never came to be, it never was made
Dishonor on my soul and my name
I feel an unrest, a want to make this right
To mark the place you sleep with proper epitaph

I wonder would you be
Would you feel pride and joy at the thought of me
Could I be your perfect child
Would I still see the greatness in your eyes
Or would you fall like the heroes I once knew
So many stories I've hear that you aren't here to clarify
Which was you, which is an exaggerated tale of lost minds

21 years ago on the eve of a day that lost it's meaning long ago
I lost all those things you cherish in the days of youth
Chances gone of simple Norman Rockwell picture perfect moments
A simple and free wish to Santa left unfulfilled
Replaced with the simple thought of what if
21 year ago that day
Things went another way

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

Your poem hit me like a ton of bricks. So sorry for the loss of your father years ago. I'm sure he's watching you and is smiling everyday. Whether he has a marked grave or unmarked grave probably doesn't matter to him now. Probably only the precious souls, like yourself are the only thing that matter to him on this earth anymore. Your pain and grief shined brightly in this amazing poem.

[Loki Ragna-rock]

Beautifully expressed.
I know this story too well. You've molded it into a very sensitive creation.

[Lilly Negoi]

a lifetime isn't enough sometimes for us to get over the loss over our dear ones. there is such a painful honesty in this poem...and the last two lines are perfectly chosen...

[Michael X]

this is a perfect sense of sadness, loss and turmoil, a struggle in the heart
of understanding, something we can all relate to. this is touching and real.
brilliant job on the expression Blake :)