Paint the Whole World Blue

I can lie to the whole world
Paint a picture perfect
Until my hands are as blue as my soul
A canvas wet by tears and covered in hidden fears
But bright as the sun to those far away
Kept at bay by the ropes surrounding me

Dancing around true emotion and cracked rear view
Digging ditches that become graves for all I feel
Leaving only a sliver of uncovered earth
Where my secrets lie in state, lies in passing
Hidden from all the masses so they can breathe easy
Hidden so everyone can let their pain rest with me
And I can guide them to the land I've longed to see

A longing inside that I can no longer seem to fill
Old ways and habits creeping back as I lay in my ruins
Times were once a day in the great empire
But now they are the rubble of what they were, lonely and low
I try to reach for the light but fate knocks my hand down
Fate has turn her gaze from me, her sister Lady Luck, a lost friend
Even Father Time laughs at my attempts to fly
Because he knows I'll fall like Icarus flying into the sun

Did you know I could spin a story
Did you know I could pretend and make you believe
That the world I know is rosy and bright
Even when I can only feel the gray and cold
Days go by and I start to creep to places I'd rather not
Slowly climbing to those dark corners that lead to ruin
Each time coming back to some state of stability
But getting further away from fine with every venture

I thought the answers to all I could see where in my sight
But I found that what I saw was a dream
That I was a blind soul, unable to see it was the mind's lie
An attempt to give me all that I wanted but didn't have
To dream was once divinity, now it is a torturous hell
Sleep is even an unfortunate friend turned unintentional enemy
If only I could feel what was there, be what I don to make you smile
This would be a day I could rise and feel the freedom of a word
That phrase I dare not say, but long to touch
The one thing that could make my world feel whole again