I Still Want to Believe

When a child realizes that a parent's lie has cost them

I wish I could say those things
That I hear everyone else say
I wish I could feel the way
Everyone else feel when they say
That they are proud and grateful
But I can't because there's still the pain you caused
I still wear the scars

I wish I could say honesty
Was something that reminded me of you
I wish I could say
That trust is what I could expect of you
But I know your lies to well these days
Your fibs and tall tales have run thin
And I'm tired of being an alibi
And this feeling is a loss that hurts inside

Why did you have to lie
Why couldn't you be brave and tell the truth
Now I don't care what you do
But don't expect me to smile and ignore
When your lies fall on me

So many times before
I saw you as a hero, imperfect, but doing no wrong
You always came through when things needed to be done
But later you began to loose you halo
Fatten me up by feeding me lies
I believed and I was sure of your truth
Took me five years to learn it was a lie
Took me five years to see I was such a fool
I feel so sick for ever believing in you

Why did you have to lie
You could told the truth
You could have spared me the pain of that lie
I was fool who wanted to always believe in you
I could never believe you'd ever lie this way
My belief caused me to be blind
But now I see, I see that you were not what I believed

I may be scarred, but now I know better
I'll never fall for those lies again
I though I'd be able to trust you forever
But now I realize I could never trust you at all
But I still want to believe
I still want to believe

Author's Note

I had a country tune in mind when I wrote this. I was inspired by the olympic comercial with Paul Hamm. It's the opposite feeling that is expressed in the poem

Reviews

[Amanda]

it's hard to face the truth about someone that you believed you could trust. lies, deception and everything in between destroys a relationship more than anything. to lose the trust you have in someone you love is very painful. sometimes we ignore the signs and believe that everything is alright when deep down inside we know that it isn't true.

once we open our eyes to the falsehood and have them staring us in the face, the hurt, the pain, the scars...all come crashing around us. to walk away is all we can do....

sometimes, despite the pain, we still want to have that something to believe in.

a good write, this is. nicely done.

Always,

Amanda

[pal]

A child is so pure, it seeks truth bare and naked. Unfortunate world isn't yet prepared to accept pureness in souls. It's ones point of view of course.

A nice poem here.

pal