Lesbian Lad: the Origin

I came up with the charicter about 2 years ago after a conversation about what would be the male counterpart to a "f*g hag." What we came up with was a "lesbian lad," and that name stuck in my head. I decided to try and write some stuf

 

Not much is known of the mysterious hero, Lesbian Lad. He just appeared on the scene and began his crusade of trying to save the world one girl at a time. There have been many rumors of how this unusual hero came to be. Some think he’s the result of a nuclear accident near the Lillith Fair in the 1990’s. Others think he was a result of an ancient drum circle that was so perfectly in tune and spiritual, it could never be reduplicated, mainly because everyone there was too stoned to remember it. Yet some hold to the rare theory that he’s a government experiment, result from a very rare unanimous bipartisan act of congress, the fact of which was hidden from the eyes of the fickle public. There are even those that see Lesbian Lad as an enemy, created by some leftist organization to wear down our testosterone levels so they can come and take the United States over. The only proof offered up for this ladder theory by his most extreme opponents is a red badge sown on the left sleeve of his suit. But today my friend, you are luck, for I am one of those who know some of the origins of this great and mystic hero. I shall tell you of his tales, and how Lesbian Lad came to be.

 

 

            While our hero did not reveal himself until recent times, his origin goes back many centuries to the time of the ancient Greek gods. It was on the isle of Lesvos that a fierce and powerful warrior clan ruled with a stern iron fist. The unusual thing about these warriors was that they were all women. Tired of the patriarchal ruled world, they revolted and enslaved the male population, as punishment for their many trespasses against the world of woman. At first, this revolt resulted in peace, but eventually these brave warriors of righteousness became as those they despised. Many of the gods found this situation to be humorous, even fair play, something not know to be in a god’s lexicon, yet because of this, they did not interfere for many years. Then one day, the god Dionysus could not take anymore of such an injustice in the mortal world. He then sought council from three other gods, Athena, goddess of wisdom, Artemis, goddess of the hunt, and Hephaestus, god of metallurgy and craft. These four formed a council, with the sole purpose to not only bring balance to Lesvos, but to the world in general. They decided that they should create a hero, one who could somehow bring about this great harmony and balance to the world. Unbeknownst to these gods, the devilish Pan overheard this conversation and promptly told this to Zeus, the mighty king of the gods. Zeus became enraged that his children would not first come to him, for surely this is his domain as supreme god. Hera, queen of the gods, also heard this and felt that it was fair to have such an isle where women dominate, and that there should be more such places as such, but before she could attempt to create such a chaotic balance, Zeus pulled here aside and a great battled ensued. Hearing this, all the gods came to investigate, Hephaestus was the only one with the ferber to interfere, and he paid the price, being tossed and inflicted with a lame leg by Zeus. Seeing the chaos such fighting caused, Zeus told these four gods that they could create such an individual, but not from the stuff of gods, so that he could never become one of them without the blessing of Zeus himself, but that he could receive god-like powers to ensure such chaos does not befall all of creation. He told these gods that only his brother, Poseidon, god of the sea and heroes, could give them full permission to create such a person, but that they only had one shot at it, and that after that, the fate shall remain with mortals, not the gods to meddle in.

 

 

            These 4 gods of the council decided to confront their uncle with this proposal. Poseidon, still stinging with the loss of the patronage of Athens to his niece, Athena, was at first apprehensive to help this council, but he wished his domain to stay free of the rising tension of the sexes. He decided to give them permission to create such a being, but that he must pass the great test set to him by the god of heroes. Should he pass and prove his worthiness, he shall be born again as a hero. With that Poseidon ordered the council of gods to create their hero and his armor, and to toss the armor into the sea, for there the test of their hero’s merit shall begin. The council then began their creation. Dionysus gave to this creation compassion, the vigor of the vine, and the ability of Midas with more control and variation. Next, Athena gave the hero great wisdom, battle strategy, and the strength of the greatest heroes. Artemis then gave our hero the great tracking abilities of nature’s greatest hunters, along with the speed of wind, and the ability to communicate and morph into shape of all animals of her domain. Last was Hephaestus who gave our hero a suit, fit to a body worthy of kings and heroes alike, that was invulnerable to all penetrating attacks to the physical body, and provided healing to all other attacks. He also gave our hero a sword from which the fire of his hearth could be called and directed to his bidding. With this done, the armor was sent to the depths of the ocean, and the hero summoned to life from earth gathered from mysterious origin.

 

 

            Being born from the conflict of Lesvos, our hero was called γιος των lesvos, which translates to Son of Lesvos. He went to the sea, using his great powers and ability to pass the mysterious test of Poseidon, claming his armor and preparing to bring the light back to the world of the sexes. But a fearful Ares, god of war frenzies, poisoned the mind of Zeus to this new hero, saying that the council’s intent was to overthrow his as supreme god with their puppet creation. Enraged by this possibility, Zeus summoned the hero to Olympus with the promise of granting him a soul, so that he may live in paradise come the end of his mortal life. But as our hero approached, Zeus struck him down and placed various limits to his new strength. He placed a badge shaped as a heart entangled in vines on his left arm, as a weak point to his suit, that can only be pierced with a projectile or knife tipped in an ancient potion made from golden hind’s blood. While this would not kill the hero, it would weaken him. He also gave our hero the curse of absorbing the mental anguish felt by victims of violence and abuse, so that it torments his mind, keeping him from the clarity needed to use the one bit of knowledge he had that could make him a god. Defiant, our hero turned to try and come after Zeus, and thus Zeus struck down our hero and fused his essence with the suit, and without a soul, our hero was destroyed before he could do any good in this world. Feeling remorse for destroying this hero, Zeus decided that this suit shall be available to a mortal, born in a foreign land beyond the Pillars of Heracles, descended from two children of the conflict of Lesvos who have a perfect and balanced union. Zeus then set the suit into a high cave in the depths of Olympus. Hearing of this angered Poseidon, so he asked that he be able to judge this hero true as he did the one Zeus destroyed, thus an agreement was made, that if such a couple were to exist, the god council of Lesvos could present a child that could once again wear the armor of the Son of Lesvos, in order to avoid any further conflict of the gods of air and sea.

 

 

            Many centuries past, with much war within the world, conflict and chaos, injustice and minor heroes trying to fix them, yet the sexes was a battle yet to be resolved. Eventually though, conquest and the desire of greed lead many to journey out of the corners of their birth, beyond their usual boundaries, and so was it for the people of Lesvos, whom, by this time had been taken over by other nations and had forgotten their chaotic past.

 

 

Flash forward to the modern time, and a couple of adventurous entrepreneurs, Alex and Lilly Parsons, have journeyed to Greece to climb the mysterious Mount Olympus, where they find an ancient cave. They journey inside to find an ancient tablet, written in an ancient form of Greek. Lilly begins to read it and deciphers most of it, and find an ancient stone box, which she opens to find a suit, they both reach in and all of a sudden are transported to an ancient looking castle, surrounded by clouds. They are greeted by a gentleman whom hurries them away to a room inside the castle. He explains that he is Dionysus, god of wine, and that they are descendant of the ancient people of the isle of Lesvos, and that he, along with the gods Athena, Artemis, and Hephaestus, formed an alliance to create a hero to help bring balance to the relationship of man and woman. At first they laughed, but then the gods proved their powers to them by showing them the past that lead to their hero, and certain things of their past only know to them. They then said that their child shall be the one to take the legacy of this great hero, and bring balance to all relations of woman and man across the world. The two then told these ancient deities that they had lost all their children that they had tried for before, and that such a child would not come from them. Then Artemis approached them, laying a blessing upon them that they would have a child, born in times of cold, whom would bring a great light to the world, provided they agree to let him yield the armor of the Son of Lesvos. They agreed, and thus they were told that they would remember nothing of this, and that when the time comes, their son shall inherit the powers of the Son of Lesvos.

 

 

            In the end path of Sagittarius, a son was born to Alex and Lilly. They decided to name him Quinn, as he was their fifth attempt to have a child, five must be the luck of the draw. Since their minds had been altered to forget their meeting with the gods, the Council of Lesvos decided they shall guard over the child should the forces of their wicked brothers Aires and Pan decide to try and thwart the great works of this very special child. Quinn Parsons grew to be a very kind and gentle child, always opening doors for others, respecting his elders, and beating up bullies, especially those that attacked girls. While such behavior got him in trouble sometimes, he usually got away with it, especially the year his father passed from a sudden heart attack. Unknown to Quinn and his mother, this was a plot of Aires, to try and send Quinn into a frenzy with the feelings of sadness he would feel himself, thus possibly turning him into the ultimate warrior for the armies of Aires. But even as he dealt with these feelings, amongst the others growing pains children have, he stayed the kind and loving child he had been, just slightly more distant and withdrawn. Most of his childhood is unknown to us, only that it was difficult yet wonderful at the same time. He faced many trials, yet had some of the greatest moments of his young life. We do know that his relationship with his mother was strained as he grew up and more distant from his family, searching for something else that he felt was missing in his life.

 

 

            Quinn Parsons’ struggle with feeling of mental anguish was at the center of most of his emotional battles as a child. He always wondered why certain things affected him more so than they should. He understood logically why they should not, yet he also understood why they might affect some. He always battled with these feelings. This struggle caused him to keep the majority of his feeling and emotions bottled inside and away from others. He would channel the energy into playing sports, and other extracurricular activities, but unfortunately, this would not always suffice to subdue the torment which lurked in our hero.

 

 

            His call to arms did not come in those years, but later as he entered into life as a college student. At first, only glimpses of his true curse came to be. He felt emotions harder and more painful than he had ever before. New surroundings and new people with hearts that were not as strong as those he aligned with in the past. This caused Quinn to absorb more and more of the world’s pain. He tried to get through it all, still keeping up a façade that he was ok, that he was the most cheerful and kind soul. In those years, Quinn first felt true anger and discontent with those he knew. He could see the evil and malice in the eyes of humankind up close. This disturbed him more and more, causing him to sometimes drop his cheery persona and show a more surly and lamenting side to his personality. Finally, in a time so heart breaking, Quinn began to cry out with enormous anger and hurt. This emotion could be felt like a shockwave. At that moment he was transported to the halls of Olympus to the chambers of Dionysus. Quinn was a bit surprised about his surrounding, thinking he had died. He then approached the god of wine and asked him was he dead, what did he do, did he end the misery, or was it taken for him. Dionysus smiled at this poor child. He told him of the origins of the council of Lesvos, and how he was promised to be the chosen one to take the moniker of the Son of Lesvos. Quinn did not believe a word of Dionysus, but just then the others gods of the council appeared, sending Quinn into a frightened frenzy. Artemis reached to him and held him to console his worry. At first Quinn struggled and tried to break free, but he soon calmed and accepted the hunt goddesses loving embrace. Her words seemed to calm him as if he were one of her wild animals for which she had dominion over. With his soul calmed and more rational, Athena explained that it was up to him to bring balance to the relationships between man and woman, that he is the guardian of those who are mistreated in love. Quinn laughed at this notion, questioning why these most powerful beings cannot do this themselves, that surely they are more powerful than him, a mere mortal. They said that it was not in the fates for them to interfere with human life so directly, that Zeus would dispense with them as he did the Titans of long ago. They could, however, choose a mortal champion for their cause, someone with the ability to save the world of man from a total destruction. Quinn then asked how he could do anything about this, what made him so special, and that if he was this saving grace, why did he have so many issues, why he seemed to be cursed with loneliness. Athena explained that it was a curse of Zeus that anyone chosen to be called to be the Son of Lesvos, must feel the pain of those he whishes to rescue as punishment for the original Son of Lesvos’ attack on Zeus. She explained that while this affliction was unfortunate, it provided the one who felt it with the ability to feel the pain of those he would protect, and to sympathize and fight with passion for them. Quinn then asked, that if he were to accept this, what exactly would be asked of him, what it is that he must do as this Son of Lesvos. They explained that he must bring justice and balance to the world of man and woman by means of those powers of the original Son of Lesvos, defending the abused and mistreated, counseling the lost and lonely, giving a great light to those who have no hope, and showing the world the power of the human heart. At this point, Quinn was angered and near tears. He wondered why he had to suffer, never being top choice, always the constant shoulder to cry upon, never the one to win, yet he was called to be the one to save everyone else, and on top of that, suffer their pain as if it was his own. He wondered why he was chosen out of the billions of other souls in the world. Hephaestus explained that he was the product of a harmonious union of two descendants of Lesvos, and that only such a union could create one worthy of the power and responsibility of the Son of Lesvos. With fury and hurt in his voice, Quinn called to these gods and demanded that he be allowed to leave this place, and never know of this, never have to feel such that he was not meant to be the absorber of pain. Artemis approached Quinn, she held him in her arms, and with a soft and sweet voice told him that he must, he had to help those who feel the pain as he feels, that only then can he rest and take his place beyond this realm of mortals, and be free of this emotional curse. Quinn then asked to go back to his room, to have time to take all of this in. The Council granted this request, giving him a special medallion that could grant him safe journey back to Olympus, where he could give the gods his answer to their desperate call for a hero.

 

 

            We do not know much of the days Quinn spent in deliberation. We know he tried to come up with reasons to ignore this calling, yet he wished to be freed from this curse, this unbearable pain that has followed him all his life. In dealing with the weight of this great burden, Quinn then heard a story of such sorrow, that it moved him to tears. It was the story of a friend and their suffering. While such a story would move many, it was not so with our reluctant hero. At first it was just another story of pain that he was cursed to feel, yet his friend then told him of how they took all that pain and anguish and channeled it into something proactive and positive, as an attempt to reach and help those who might be in similar straights. This was the catalyst that our hero needed. These words lit a fire in the heart of Quinn, he felt full of purpose and determination. He now understood that this was his destiny, this was his burden, and either way he had no way of changing the road he must travel, just the scenery as he goes along. Quinn thanked his friend for sharing their story and walked off with determination, ready to summon the Council and begin his time as the new Son of Lesvos.

 

 

            After his arrival in the chambers of the Council, Quinn told the gods that he was ready to take on this responsibility and bring balance to the world. With great joy, they told our hero that he can now begins the trails, test created by the god Poseidon to see the worth of the one called to become the new Son of Lesvos. This caused our hero to question what these gods had told him. He reminded them that they promised if he just said yes and became this hero, that there was no mention of any test. He wondered why he was afflicted with this cure of super emotion if he might not even be the hero they were looking for. Athena then told our hero “in time the answers shall come, the reason and the why shall be revealed when the time is right.” Not satisfied with such an answer, he questioned the Council’s intent that this was done for humor, to toy with a mortal. Hephaestus then questioned Quinn, suggesting that he should just be sent back, or to the pits of Hades for his seeming lack of resolve and insolent tone. Dionysus then called for everyone to stop and collect themselves. He reminded everyone that what is at stake is greater than them all, that if the balance of the world of man become too unstable, it could cause chaos that could destroy all worlds, and that right now, Quinn is the only hope that they have. Quinn then readied himself for his test, realizing that this was just another obstacle he must overcome as he has in his past. Artemis then told him that each test would reveal some of the powers he would posses as the Son of Lesvos, but he must use his latent wisdom to figure out these great test, for some of them were more feats of the mind than of strength. Quinn was then sent to the banks of the sea for his first test.

Author's Note

There will probably be a few gramatical errors. I in no way wrote this as any knock on lesbians, I respect everyone, and the conversation where the name came up was one of curious questions, not hatemongering.