A Necklace of Clouds

i used to
love a
girl who
wore
a necklace
of clouds

and since
she was almost always
of a
sunny disposition
mostly they'd be pure
and white

but sometimes on
her becoming
sad
they
would rain

or sometimes
she'd become
angry and they'd
storm
which she didn't like
being girlishly vain
because
the lighting would strike
her skin
leaving scars

but
there was one time
i saw them snow

the time
i told her
i cheated on her
with her best friend

and they snowed
and snowed
and snowed
and snowed
until it covered
her up and she died
from exposure

and after she died
since she never told
anyone i cheated on her
her family gave the necklace
of clouds to me

and i put it on
and it snowed
and snowed
and snowed
and snowed
until i died from
exposure
too

so now
when you
approach me
you will see
that coldness
in my eyes
and that cloud
of frost when i
speak

because
no longer is there
any warmth
in my body
to thaw my breath

because
my
heart is
frozen

Reviews

[Mary C]

You wrote this so well. It really is a good piece of writing Blake

[Ashira Macy]

Really cool imagery and story in this one.

[Briana O'Connor]

The imagery of weather being one's emotion was expressed with great fluency. I loved the way you broke up the lines, leading me from one word to the next. At first I was confused by such short verses and broken up stanzas, but as I read on I saw the brilliance of your format. You pull the reader towards each scene with vivid scenery and emotions that soar straight through the heart. The message inside your words of sunny days and happy moments, rainy days and days of tears, stormy days and angry moments, bolts of lightening and hiding one's emotions. The real zinger of the piece was when the snow was introduced. The way you portrayed a broken heart as a pearl necklace of snow freezing one's heart was a master piece. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.

[kublakhan27]

You've worked the weather metaphor to painfully brilliant perfection...I love weather imagery, and when it's done right, it goes right to my heart, especially when dealing with such a theme as you've done here...beautifully written and emotionally stunning...great work Blake.

[Mary Bosworth]

What a beautiful piece of poetry to read

[Lauriegirl]

your poetry is artistic and beautiful