Why Can't You See Me?

Boy believes he is invisible to the girl he loves.

I spent another day watching you when you were near,

and when you were away, I watched you in my mind

The sound of your voice is so lovely to hear

I've spent the another day watching you

But why can't you see me?

 

He talked to you today. He made you laugh and smile

You watched him with eager eyes, as I watch you

I would run through fire, for your heart only, for miles

I've spent another day watching you

But why can't you see me?

 

I wish to talk to you, to be friends with you atleast

But what do I say? What do I do? I am too weak.

My love for you shall never cease.

I've spent another day watching you

But why can't you see me?

 

I've thought and dreamt about this moment,

What I will finally say to you to begin what I hope will be a long relationship.

I will not back down. This is my time and I own it.

I've spent another day watching you

But why can't you see me?

 

....Who knows? Maybe I've been watched by you all along.

Author's Note

It is my first time writing a poem. It was mainly for practice, but let me know what you think anyways. Thanks.

Reviews

[Caitlynxoxo]

I think the reason I enjoyed this poem so much is because i have loved from afar as well. The words you speak hit home with such force. I can practically picture the events that occur, and feel the emotions running through the speaker's soul. You have a talent with writing, with telling a story through poetry. Keep up the amazing work :) Thanks for sharing

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[halflives]

This is amazing. this also shows that you have talent for not only writing, but writing lyrical poems.

[Dreamer<3]

I like the ending, how I'm not sure if this is how you meant for it to be taken, but I take it as a she liked him all along too. That's so sweet. You're a great writer, especially for this being your first poem. Really great.

[cristaal]

Dude, this is good for a poem in general. The fact it's your first is pretty great. Keep practicing stuff like this and you'll make some more amazing poetry.

[Steph S.]

i like this poem very romantic hehe

[mammabear]

I like how descriptive you are in expressing his emotion. As if I could feel the same intensity within as I read.

[qaralynn]

really good poem!

[Allan Eddings]

If you will permit me to say, I would offer my congratulations. A piece that is as nicely composed as it is hopeful, a rarity for poems upon this particular subject. I would like to commend to you the notion of continuing to write poems, though I must admit it is a selfish request, as I would very much like to read more of your writing.

Sincerely,
A.E.

[~Lizzy♬]

This poem is very well written. Since you said this is your first poem, then you have writing talent! The emotion was settled deep into my heart. The person in the poem likes a girl, but that girl doesn't notice the person because that girl likes another guy. I really thought this poem was amazing. :)

~Lizzard~

[Livenrite]

A great first poem. I like the hopeful words at the end:) thanks for sharing!